Phy Says: I Am Mama, I Am Papa..

Hello there lovelies...

This story that I am about to share with you is very personal in nature. I know that some people might view this as airing my dirty laundry to the world. That is of course, not my intention. However, I have always believed in being honest in sharing my life's experiences because I hope that somehow, it would reach someone out there who might need to know that they are not alone. And for me, that's the only thing that truly matters in shaa Allah, Amin.

And so the story goes...

As much as I have missed writing in my blog, I haven't been doing so lately. The reason for that is because I have been experiencing a lot of frustrations at the work place and unfortunately it has spilled into other areas in my life. Let's just say I was (and still am) in a situation where am expected to swim across the sea in record time while having my hands and feet tied.

I must say that I didn't handle my frustrations very well. I'd go to work, go with the motions, get mad and after work instead of going directly back home I'd go to the library to read a book. It started innocently enough. I wanted some 'me' time, a break between being an employee during the day and a mum after that. However, as time passed by I started to read more and more compulsively, starting on another novel right after finishing one.

Eventually, it came to a point where I was reading more that one book (at my worst I was switching between 5 books!) at a time. I was spending more and more time away from home and inadvertently, away from Sophie. At home I'd continue to read, getting irritated when Sophie tries to get my attention the only way a toddler knows how; by throwing tantrums.

My mum started to complain about how I am always coming home late and never spending quality time with Sophie. My elder sister also commented that she notices that I am being less patient with the little one. Sophie herself has started to become prone to tantrums. Feeling pressured, I retreated deeper into my shell. The logical side of me knows that this compulsion to read was a symptom to a deeper problem. And the oh, the guilt towards Sophie was crippling! However, I decided to turn a blind eye to the warning signs and plodded on.

Then 2 days ago, I was at the supermarket in the stationery section when a man and his 2 daughters came along. Long story short, he was pretty indulgent towards his daughters especially the youngest one. She was hugging his thigh making googly eyes and trying to convince him to buy her something she probably doesn't need but really, really wanted.

Suddenly a deep feeling of sadness and disappointment washed over me and tears pricked my eyes. As I turned away from them pretending to inspect the pencil sharpeners I gave myself a mental shake and asked myself,"Why am I feeling this way? It's not like I don't have a dad.." I then realized that that wave of pain I felt was not for me but for Sophie. My precious darling doesn't know what it feels like to be indulged by a father and I don't know if she ever will.

In a moment that can only be described as being hit by lightning, I realized with all my heart to the core of my soul that I am her mama AND her papa. As the sole player in the parent band I have to play both parts. I have to bring on my A game and be what she needs, when she needs me. As a human being I will have bad days (or in this case, bad spells) but I can't afford to indulge in them. Most of all, I can't afford to run away and retreat into a figurative (nor literal) cave. I am all she's got. She NEEDS me.

I felt so ashamed with my behavior the past few weeks and I made a solemn promise to myself that I will be the best parent that I could to Sophie from then on. Alhamdulillah, I have strive to come home as soon as I could after work and set aside all distractions to pay my full attention to her. We did finger painting, tickled each other, sang Old Macdonald till we were bored and recited the countries that we were going to go on vacation together. We have even made up our inside jokes. Alhamdulillah, I am so grateful that Allah SWT has helped me to understand the full extend of my responsibility and to snap out of my pity party.

In shaa Allah, I will do my best to remember that moment of clarity in that stationery isle for the rest of my life. Amin.




Love,
Phy

How To: Achieve Soft, Smooth Skin (With Alternatives For Busy Bees And Penny Pinchers!)

Hello hello...

Among all my beauty fails in the past, one of them was to neglect scrubbing and moisturizing my body. I avoided using lotion because in the olden days they're pretty greasy. Then there is that icky, slippery feel on my hands whenever I need to wash them. As for body scrubs I was just too plain lazy to use them.

Last year however I decided to give the body scrubs and Body Butters from The Body Shop a try and I became hooked! Not only do they smell great, they did not irritate my skin either. That really motivated me to scrub-a-dub and moisturize about 3 times a week.

About a month after practicing this, I was scratching my shoulder and I was startled that my skin was so smooth. Really! I had never had such smooth and soft skin in my life! Terkejut sendiri ni.

Unfortunately, I ran out of 2 tubs of body scrub and Body Butter each within 6 months. I don't really go to the city that often so I had to find other alternatives. I think I have found a pretty affective routine which cuts cost and time in the shower too.

So the first part of this post is going to be a regular scrub and lotion routine and the 2nd part will be the low cost and quick alternative routine. Okay? So let's get into it.

Part 1
What you need:
1. Shower gel
2. Body scrub
3. Body Butter/cream/lotion

My current shower gel and body cream.

Start off with showering using the shower gel. Try to avoid using bar soaps that you can get at the supermarkets because it tends to dry the skin. Use a moisturizing shower gel if you can. Dove and Johnson & Johnson are pretty good options. I personally use The Body Shop shower gel because it smells good but doesn't irritate my skin.

After rinsing off the shower gel, take a palm full of body scrub and gently work it all over your body. Remember, be gentle. You are not scrubbing scum off the floor, just dead skin off your body. After you're done scrubbing, rinse it off.

The scrub I'm currently using.

By the way, there are 2 main types of scrubs; cream and gel. The former tends to be more moisturizing so use that if you have dry skin type.

Lightly towel dry (leave your skin moist) and apply half a palm of body cream all over your body. This helps to lock in the moisture of the cream onto your skin. Wait for about 3-5 minutes before dressing. *Is anyone laughing at the thought of lounging around naked for 5 minutes? Haha..*

Try to scrub once in every 2-3 days and moisturize everyday. If you make a practice of doing this, I guarantee that your skin will be silky smooth within the 1st month. Kena rajin la. Jangan mo berangan dapat kulit halus tapi duduk2 tiup2 kuku jak. Kan?

Now, we move on to the quick and convenient method for the Busy Bees and the Penny Pinchers.

Part 2
What you need:
1. Shower gel
2. Bath lily/ loofah
3. Nivea In-shower Skin Conditioner

For this method, soak the bath lily with water then drizzle a little bit of shower gel on it. Lather it up and briskly work it over your body (making sure your skin is wet before hand of course) in circular motions. The netted texture of the bath lily acts as the 'scrub'. Rubbing the skin in circular motions also helps to get the circulation going and will give it a healthy glow. When you're done, rinse all the lather off.

Next, apply Nivea in-shower Skin Conditioner all over your body then rinse. Yes peeps, you do not need to wait for it to 'sink in' for 5 minutes before rinsing. It's apply and rinse. Lastly, dry yourself thoroughly with a towel and you are ready to get dressed.

How easy and quick is that was? You of course, can use body cream/lotion after bathing in Part 2 to give maximum moisture to your skin but if you are really pressed for time, you can skip that step entirely.

What are your favorite bath products? So share your thoughts in the comments section below.


Love,
Phy
 

Phy Says: Of Lipsticks and Faux Pearl Bracelets - A Lesson In Letting Go

Hello dearies...

My sister once told me a story about a little girl who has a lot of toys and knick knacks that she loves. Among all her possessions, there is one that she prized above the rest; a pearl bracelet. Granted it was made of faux pearls but it didn't matter to her. It was precious all the same.

One day her father said to her,"I have something for you my dear. It's very special. But in order for me to give it to you, you will have to give me your pearl bracelet in exchange". The girl was initially excited about the gift until she knew that she would have part with her pearl bracelet in order to get it. Oh, how she longed for the gift from her father! But how on earth could she part with her precious bracelet?

She tried negotiating with her father. She would give him her best teddy bear in exchange. Her father smiled but declined gently. The next day she came up with another offer. She would give up her best doll in exchange for the gift. Again, her father declined gently. And so it went on for a week with her offering her father numerous other things in exchange. Each time, her father smiles, declines her offer and insists that it has to be her pearl bracelet. ''I promise that the gift will be worth giving it up for", he said.

By the end of the week the little girl had run out of other things to offer. So with a very heavy heart, she went up to her father and dejectedly handed her most loved possession to him. Her father thanked her and retrieved a box from his pocket. Turns out he had been keeping her gift in his pocket all the while, just waiting for her to surrender her bracelet at any time.

He opened the box and lo and behold, nestled in it's soft satin lining lay the most beautiful pearl bracelet she had ever seen. "The reason why I wanted you to give me your bracelet first is because I want you to have a better bracelet, made with real pearls which you deserve" he said. The little girl exclaimed over the gift and hugged her father while squealing in delight, her faux bracelet which she had been so reluctant to let go, forgotten.

There is a lesson to be learnt here but wait for it... Here is another story which happened to me:

MAC Cosmetics has a program called Back To MAC. It is basically a recycling program where you can claim 1 free lipstick (in Malaysia we can only claim lipsticks but I understand that in the US you can pick between a lipstick, lip gloss or an eye shadow) for every 6 items you've used up and returned to MAC. After a year I had finally scrapped enough empties to claim my free lipstick. I was planning on getting Quietone which I love so much and incidentally, was my first ever MAC lipstick. Unfortunately, it is no longer available.

After trying a few, I was considering the possibility of getting Lustering when I saw my sister trying Peach Blossom on herself. It was the perfect My Lips But Better (MLBB) color for her. I told her that she should get it but she declined. After inspecting Lustering on my lips further in the mirror, I can't help but feel that although I like it, I don't really love it. There is also the fact that I already have a lot of lipsticks anyways, most of which I am not actively using. I considered taking Peach Blossom for my sister but pushed the notion aside. She doesn't wear lipsticks after all.

However, once the thought had come to mind I couldn't seem to shake it off. It was like my gut feeling was telling me to get Peach Blossom for my sister and it was getting insistent with each passing second. A short while later, I decided to follow my instincts. My sister was very happy and posted about it on Facebook. My aunt who is very generous saw my sister's post and decided that I should have a lipstick of my own. I was to pick one from any brand I liked. I ended up choosing Chanel's Rouge Allure Gloss in 16 Extase which I am sooo happy to get. Much happier that how I would have felt getting Lustering for myself.

Image Source

Okay, so why on earth am I telling you these stories? Well basically what I am trying to say is that sometimes we spend too much time and effort clutching and holding on (with a death grip) to things that we think we need when in actual fact we don't.

It is not limited to physical things either. Sometimes we hold on to memories, anger and hurt that does nothing for us. It's hard to let go of things, emotions and principles that no longer work for us but I personally have experienced proof that when we do sincerely let go of the unnecessary, we will have more space to receive better things, emotions and state of mind. I plan to let go more in future in shaa Allah and I hope that these stories have inspired you to do the same.

Have you ever had to let go of something you thought you never could and discovered that you were better off without it? Do share your experience in the comments section below.



Love,
Phy

Reading Challenge Activated!

Hello hello darlings!

Did you notice something different about my blog? If you look on the sidebar, I have displayed a Goodreads.com bookshelf on the books that I have read. It is by no means complete, I still have to update some more books. Isn't it pretty? I love how it is displayed. I am thinking of doing a bookshelf of the books that I am currently reading as well but we'll see.

I am also embarking on a reading challenge by Goodreads.com and I have set to read 25 books by the end of the year. I wish that I had signed up for it before I discovered the free reading site I mentioned before. I could have had 10 books under my belt already!

Anyways, it would be really great if you could join me on this challenge. You can set the number of books that you'd like to read in a year which is great. I think 2 books a month is a good goal but it's really up to you.

So what do you say? Come on board and let's get reading.




Love,
Phy

Review: The Body Shop Shower Gel

Hello helloo..

You might not know this but I have an Eczema problem which affects my legs. It was so bad that I had to seek treatment from a skin specialist. One of the things I was advised to do was to avoid using scented soaps, shower gels or body moisturizers. Being quite the girly girl who loves all things that are nicely scented, I struggled with this dictate. I have disregarded the doctor's advise numerous times and paid the price of having to endure painful Eczema 'outbreaks' on my skin. In the end I accepted defeat that I will never be able to have a nice fragrant bath for the rest of my days.

2 years ago however, I was given a travel sized shower gel from The Body Shop because I bought RM200 worth of makeup. It sat untouched in my bathroom caddy for the longest time until one day, I decided to just throw caution in the wind and tried it out. I waited a few hours after my bath certain that I was going to have a painful few days ahead of me. 3 hours later, nothing.. The next morning, still nothing. No itchiness, no pain.

I tentatively used it again the 2nd day and the same thing happened. That's when I fell in love. I finally, finally found a shower gel that smelled delicious yet does not irritate my skin. Even though it might be insignificant to some but after using pharmacy-grade, non-scented body cleansers for years, to me it felt like splashes of color had been added to my life. For the first time in a long while, I felt free. I am not even kidding!

250ml, RM29.90

Would I recommend I?
Yeeeeessss!!! If you have sensitive skin or skin problems such as Eczema, do try the travel-size bottle first.

Would I re-purchase it?
Absolutely. Been using it for the past 2 years and still going strong, in shaa Allah.

Do you have sensitive/problematic skin? What bath product do you use? Do share in the comments section. 

Love,

Phy

Dainty Pearls: Donuts, Online Novels and a Friendly Fairy..

Hello dearies..
It's been over a week since my last post. So sorry! I've been so obsessed with something (will talk about it later on) that there's nothing else I'd be doing if I have even 5 minutes to spare. Read on for an update on what has been going on in my life for the past few weeks.

1. I have unfortunately developed a craving for donuts. I'd be sitting at my desk doing my work and suddenly a fluffy, pillowy donut smothered with crunchy sweet sugar would pop up in my mind. Aaanndd I have been having 2 every day for the past few days. Oh Heaven help me!

2. I discovered a site where I could read online novels. This is not the kind of sites where only Sherlock Holmes or Huckleberry Finn are free peeps. No, no, no.. There's Sarah Shepard, Jude Deveraux, Mary Balogh, Anne Rice, etc. In the past 10 days I believe I have read 9 novels straight. It's so addicting especially for a bookworm like me! This my friends, is one of the reasons that I haven't been blogging of late. Huhu..

3. Sophie has been really into this story book called Friendly Fairy. She would ask me or my sister to read it aloud to her repeatedly. I dare say that I have pretty much memorized that story and so has Sophie. Whenever I read a line she would finish it for me. It's totally infuriating (having to read it repeatedly) and adorable (Sophie finishing the sentence) at the same time.

By the way, Sophie is able to speak more clearly now. If she doesn't want something then she'll say "Don't want", etc. She is still more on parroting what people say to her (which she catches on so fast that we were always refraining from swearing in front of her - something I am most guilty of when driving). Also, she has learnt to blow her nose! Yay!

4. I am most interested in de-cluttering my makeup stash (and my room in general). It's so hard though especially the high end makeup items because they're like my babies. However, I must say I haven't given much thought to the makeup items that I have sold to my colleagues back in September last year, nor do I remember most of them which goes to show how little those items had meant to me.

Also, if I am to be honest with myself, the mountains of magazines are starting to give me a headache. I buy about 2-3 magazines a month and I am currently keeping ones from year 2013 and above. I want to donate them to the library but I had thought to browse through them first to get inspirations for this blog. It's been several months and I have yet to do so.

I have half the mid to just donate them all RIGHT NOW and not buy anymore since I have yet to even sit and enjoy reading a magazine back to back at a leisurely pace in years. Frenzied flipping of pages so as to complete a magazine before a pair of little hands come to tug them out of mine and destroy them (given a chance) does not make a relaxing reading experience.

5. The Black List Season 2 is back from it's mid-season break (who takes a break after 8 or 9 episodes though? That's so absurd) and Reddington is of course as smooth and suave as ever. I think he's Elizabeth Keene's dad for sure. What do you think?

How has 2015 been treating you so far? Do share your experience down below in the comments section. Toodles!




Love,
Phy

Review: Nivea In-shower Skin Conditioner

Hello hello there..
Today's post is a review of Nivea's In-shower Skin conditioner. I have 2, one is Intensive with Almond Oil and the other is Whitening with Camu Camu. I purchased them last year and I think I have used it long enough to do a review.

What does Nivea say about it?
"A revolution in time saving and moisturising, our In-Shower Body Lotion gives you that silky-smooth feeling all day, every day. Simply apply to wet skin, rinse and towel dry as usual".


What do I think about it?
The first one I bought was Intensive with almond oil. It has a classic Nivea scent. I didn't like using this product initially because when I rinsed it, my skin felt really slick. Imagine having put on cream on your hands then washing them. That's how it felt. I really had to fight the urge to keep on washing until the slickness is gone because this is how the product works to moisturize the skin. That feeling goes away after toweling dry though, leaving skin soft and smooth

The Whitening with Camu Camu was launched later and of course I purchased it to try. I find that the texture is lighter than the Intensive option and I really love the fruity scent of it. I didn't include a photo of the product itself because you won't be able to see the difference in consistency. You can only feel the difference when you rinse it off where the Intense is slicker than the Whitening.

I really enjoy using both of them. I used more of the Intensive product than the Whitening due to the cold spells that I have been experiencing in my area. It cannot replace actual lotion or cream (much less my beloved The Body Shop Body Butters) but it does afford me the occasional lapse. If you want to maximize moisturizing your skin, you can always apply body lotion after using this in the shower.

Intensive with Almond Oil: RM16.90 (250ml), Whitening with Camu Camu: RM24.90 (400ml)


Pros:
1. Moisturizes pretty well especially the Intensive option.
2. Affordable.
3. Pleasant scent.
4. Can be used to maximize skin's moisture with the help of body lotion/cream.

Cons:
1. The slick feeling after rinsing can be uncomfortable.
2. It leaves the floor of the shower pretty slippery. The floor needs to be rinsed to get rid of the slipperiness.


Would I repurchase this product?
Absolutely! Although, I hear that a new product is being launched in this line so I'd probably be trying them first. Hehe...


Have you tried it? Do you think that this is just a gimmicky product? Share your thoughts in the comments section below. Toodles!



Love,
Phy