Sucess?

Dear Readers...
Due to the fact that I don't have internet access at my house I am unable to make daily blog entries that I did a few weeks ago.. I'm doing fine by the way (I'm assuming that you're wondering how I've been). Hehehe...

By the way, I went to KK last Friday and guess what? My aunty, grandmother and her housekeeper exclaimed that I have lost weight. How cool is that? I denied it of course cause I didn't believe it. No, trully.. I wasn't being coy at all. I guess for the last 6 years I have been trying to lose weight (that's a long time. If a baby was born then, the kid would be in kindergarden by now) and I only suceeded once for a few months before gaining what I lost and a few kilos more (read KILOS, not pounds)... I've tried every diet suppliment there is (well, almost every one of them) and sometimes just when when I think I've lost weight somebody would come up to me and say that I've gained weight instead. So you can understand how disheartening that can be.. So when somebody (actually several) actually say that I've lost weight, I become afraid to believe them, because I have wanted to hear those words for so long but they never came, that I began to think that I will never hear it. I feel as if its just the clothes that is making me look thin but I'm still the way I am..

The next day I tried on an outfit of mine that I haven't tried for a few weeks and its looser. I don't have to struggle to button the front any longer. I stood there in front of the mirror, gaping at the sight in front of me.. Surely my clothes have become loose from constant washing, I thought. Then, later that day my sweetheart said the same thing to me as well (that I've lost weight). This time I couldn't help but pump my hands and said 'Yes!'. Haha.. I'm finally begining to believe it. But I still have some doubts to tell you the truth. Simply because old habits die hard and its hard to let go of my old insecuruties and demons of my past.

This got me thinking dear readers.. Somewhere out there, there are others just like me. Struggling for years with something all their lives and never finding the solution to their problems or trying to acquire something that is just out of reach. Not necessarily about their weight of course but most of the time thats the issue. I just want to say to those of you who are facing the same problem as me or are in the same situation as me but with a different issue (non-weight issues) that I understand how you feel. You've wanted, hoped and prayed for something so badly that when you actually have get it, you become afraid of it because you begin to question if you deserve it.. Its a normal reaction according to Doctor Oz from the Oprah Winfrey show.

The good thing that came out of all this? I became even more motivated to change my lifestyle into a healthier one. I'm going to take believe in their positive comments even if I have a teeny weeny niggling fear that they may be mistaken and use it to get me moving my butt and eating right and better. I wont beat myself up for making mistakes. I'll just get back right on track the next meal. I am human after all.. ;)

Thats all for now my loyal readers.. I'll make an entry again when I have the time so don't be a stranger.. Bye...