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Former makeup enthusiast and bookworm. Currently adopting a minimalist lifestyle. Contact me at phylliciarobert@gmail.com for inquiries.
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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Summary Of The Year 2011

Hello peeps..
It's the end of the year again *Lord knows how many blogs out there that are using that opening line or similar on this day. Hehehe...* and I would like this post to be a summary of what has happened in the year 2011. This year had been a wild roller-coaster ride for me. I never expected things to turn out the way they did. Anyway, on to the events of 2011...

I went to Guilin, China and experienced winter for the first *and hopefully, the last* time in my life. Money can buy you a lot but it can't buy you experience. I know for sure that I am a Tropical kind of gal now. Hahaha.. More on my trip here.

At the Elephant Trunk Hill, one of the prominent landmarks of Guilin..

I turned 25 on this month! I was so ridiculously happy because first of all, it is one of my favorite numbers. Secondly, I felt that it is the ultimate mark of me being in my prime *this is just my personal notion of course*. I couldn't help but feel that something exciting is going to happen in my life. If only I knew *secret smile to self*  

By the way, I had my best birthday celebration to date on my 25th. I spend the time with friends and my Boo. Boo gave me a gift that made me do the 'ugly cry' *you know, the all out bawling kind of cry*. 

 Me, Vv and Bb
If you recognized her, yes, Vv was a finalist in the 2010 Unduk Ngadau competition. 
*I just had to mention that didn't I? Hahaha...*

With Eva and my gift from Boo

*Both pics are courtesy of dear Eva's Oh-So-Awesome DSLR..

Discovered something that shook my world. An unexpected surprise, one that will change my life forever. Alhamdulillah, I never knew that I would be granted such a gift. 

I FINALLY resigned from the Government. People said that I was going to regret my decision as others had before me. Maybe I would in the future, but so far, the only feeling that I have about it is relief and happiness. I didn't even blink when it was announced that there would be a raise for Government staff by January next year. Perhaps that is an indication that my decision was the right one? Time will tell I suppose.

My resignation was recognized an I am officially not a part of the Government staff any longer. *Cue Happy Feet penguin dance*  Woot woot...

Received news about my health that made me reel back in horror. Keeping my fingers crossed that everything would be okay.

There's not a lot of pictures this time around I'm afraid. I just realized it when I started to work on this post. Haha.. Hope you guys still enjoyed reading it though.

I want to take this opportunity to wish all of you a very Happy New Year 2012. May great and joyful things be in store for us all in the coming year. Thank you for following and reading this humble blog of mine. Your support has been and will always be invaluable. 

Cheers and wassalam...

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Wayang James Bond, Hindustan Dan Tamil

Sejak kebelakangan ni dad sy selalu tengo movie James Bond. Dari lah lakonan Sean Connery *Kiranya James Bond old school lah* sampai lah lakonan Pierce Bronsnan. It's on every night it seems, from 10PM to 12PM.

Sean Connery

Walaupun ada api besar di belakang, rambut tetap rapi. Guna gel rambut jenama apa tu Mr. 007? 

Sy tidak tau la kalo kamu kan, mungkin kamu minat tengo cerita si 007 ni tapi terus terang, makin sy tingu, makin sy menyampah campur kelucuan campur kegelian. Aksi2 Mr. 007 ni bukan main lagi, kiranya ada fight la dengan wayang Hindustan. Bulih2 berlawan dengan musuh tapi rambut sikit pun tidak kusut?

Nda cukup begitu kaki pengurat numbur satu. Kalo ada 4 perempuan dalam movie tu, 4 perempuan tu juga lah dia urat dan, well, ahem.. *Tuuut* Perempuan2 yang dalam movie J.Bond ni pun musti suma dahi licin, suma sexy2. Apakah?

Suma perempuannya sexy mexy belaka..

Kalo wayang Hindustan pun nda kurang juga tembirangnya. Heronya musti lah yang paling handsome, paling popular, paling kuat, etc. Si Heroine pun musti yang paling cantik, paling sexy, paling popular. Mau cakap 'I love you'/'I hate you'/merajuk/memujuk/bawa pi makan musti lah menyanyi sekurang2nya 5 minit, tukar baju tidak kurang 5 kali dan wajib latar belakang merentas 5 benua dengan geng2 penari *yang entah muncul dari mana* tidak kurang 50 orang. Heraaannnn...

Wajib nyanyi ramai2. Quorum penari musti 50 orang ke atas...

"I love you" 
Entah sesat pigi benua mana dah ni...

Kalau begitu lah kehidupan kita seharian hilang suara oh. Mulut pun cramp.

Itu belum lagi masuk adengan lawan dengan musuh. Girlfriend si Hero sudah kena bawa lari dengan kereta, si Hero bulih pula kejar dengan berlari jak. Siap overtake tu kereta lagi tu! Iron Man + Hussein Bolt la bah tu kan. Bila tumbuk musuh lagi, mesti ada sound effect "Dusyum... Dusyum.. Dusyum..." *ada echo sebab tu bunyi makin kecik*

Fuiyo.. Dasat worrr....

Tapi kan, tapi kan sy rasa kalo fight scenes ni muvie Tamil yg paling manang. 1 hero lawan 20 penjahat yang bersenjatakan M16. Sepa menang? Tatap juga si Hero walaupun dia punya senjata hanya lah tuala muka putih yang sentiasa tersidai di lehernya. Sekali libas terpelanting si penjahat2 sekalian sampai terkeluar dari tingkap rumah *cermin pecah wooorrr*/terhempap meja sampai patah. Libas lagi dua kali trus berjaya merampas M16 penjahat yang satu lagi. Pokok pangkalnya, Hero must win!

Berdarah kah, patah tangan kah, kena tembak kah, usah gusar kawan2. Hero musti menang..

Walaupun tidak masuk akal, kita tetap berebut2 pergi tengo kalo ada wayang diorang yang terbaru keluar di panggung kan? *Ah, sepa geleng kepala tu tipu* Ndapa lah, all in good fun juga. Tapi bila pergi tengo wayang2 macam ni, kena la keep an open mind. Kena ikut juga tidak logik. Kalo tidak, musti nda feel tu movie kan. Malar lah ketawa sampai rasa mau pecah perut. Marah nanti tu orang sebelah yang teresak2 nangis feel abis cerita tu nanti.

Ini jak la post sy untuk kali ni. Melaulut2 pula kan. Dari la wayang James Bond, pigi wayang Hindustan, pigi wayang Tamil. Hope you enjoyed it though. Cheers and wassalam.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Dreadlocks, Tattoos and Body Piercing-Looks Can Be Deceiving

Hello peeps...
Experience has taught me not to judge people by how they look. I've met girls who were wild and loud at a glance yet have proven to be invaluable friends where it counts. I've also met people who look 'harmless' and 'innocent' yet eventually reveal characters that would make me rather embrace a Great White Shark then be anywhere near said person.

However, I think all of us are guilty of judging people by their physical appearance, even if we don't mean to, especially at a first glance. I never really gave much thought to this before until I met a former schoolmate of mine recently.

He had multiple facial piercings, tattoos all along his arms and he sported the dreaded Dreadlocks (no pun intended). I guess it shouldn't have been too surprised as I knew that he had inclinations towards body piercing even during our school years but it didn't prevent me from recoiling in shock when I first set eyes on him.

Imagine this minus the hot bod and face..

Well, I must say the first thing that ran through my mind was "I wonder what he's doing now? Is he working?" "How must his mother feel with him portraying such image?" and so on. I didn't dwell too long on it though and he was soon out of my mind. Until I saw him again yesterday.

I was going to the Tamu in my hometown with my parents when I saw him arriving with his mother. I bumped into them while circulating the Tamu and you know what? There he was with his mom following her wherever she went and carrying her purchases. Not once did I see him show impatience or any indication that he didn't want to be there.

Which made me stop and look around. There were NO other young men there who were tottering after their mothers like he was. NO ONE was being the gentleman that he was being. In fact, some of the husbands that came with their wives and children were walking with their hands free while leaving their wives to carry their child, handbags and purchases. Talk about being rude and inconsiderate!

Maybe Allah wanted to show me something that day and think because I found myself thinking really deeply. Is it wrong to include people like this in my social circle? Would I be ashamed if a relative of mine has that kind of image? Is it enough to be good on the inside but not conform to the social norms on the outside? If I met the man of my dreams but he has such image would I be able to accept him for who he is?

I find these questions hard to answer actually. What do you think? If you found the man/woman of your dreams but they don't have a clean-cut image, would you be able to accept them? If your son or daughter brought their girlfriend or boyfriend that sports dreadlocks and piercings would you give him/her a chance or chase him/her with a broom? I'm really curious to know what you think you would do.

"Mum, dad.. Meet my girlfriend" 

This is all for now peeps. Cheers and wassalam.


Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Cinnamon Milk Tea

Hi there,
I've always been obsessed with drinking milk tea whether it is bought from the shops or making it myself. Recently however I have been over the moon with a slight twist that I've made to my homemade milk tea. Yup, as the title states, I have been adding cinnamon to my milk tea. Since I like it so much I am going to share with you how to make it in the comfort of your own home!

Note: If you are allergic to ANY of the ingredients used please do not consume this beverage. 

1 sachet of Lipton's Gold Milk Tea
Sugar to taste (I use 1 sachet of Slim Up)
A small pinch of cinnamon
1 spoon of powdered milk
200ml hot water
A mug and a spoon (obviously)

1. Mix the milk tea, sugar, powdered milk and cinnamon well together in the mug.

Remember, a small pinch of cinnamon goes a long way..

Mix well together..

2. Pour hot water, stir and enjoy!


Give it a try and tell me what you think. ^^

This is all for now. Cheers and wassalam.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Berkatut! Ep 2..

Dei, dei, dei.. Menarik betul kah cerita katut a.k.a kotud a.k.a ketumbit ni sampai mau ada episod kedua lagi ni? Hahaha... Post ini bukan untuk sy komplen pasal sakit mata sy tapi petua menyembuhkan sakit kotud ni. Siap ada resipi lagi ni. Sangat mujarab, 2 hari jak sudah baik. Ha, kalo kamu ikut ni petua nda akan berani lagi kotud singgah di mata kamu.

Use at your own risk. The author is in no way responsible for any unfortunate results that occur by following this natural remedy. 

2 (saiz besar) - 3 (saiz kecil) helai daun sirih *Ini bahan wajib. Kalo tiada baik ndapayah buat*
Lesung yang bersih *Mesti bersih berabis tau. Tuang la air panas campur garam kah apakah, janji bersih. Jangan tuang kloroks sudah*
2 Bekas kecil
Alat saringan
Air *Guna air yang selamat diminum nda kira lah air mineral kah, air filter kah. Janji bukan air mentah dari paip*

Air nda termasuk dalam gambar. Sepa suuh dia lambat mau bermakeup. 
Last2 ketinggalan photoshoot. Kotoh..

Cara menyediakan: *cheh, ayat skema tu bah*:

1. Tumbuk *maksudnya lumatkan ah, bukan tumbuk betul2* helaian daun sirih dalam lesung

Begini jadinya daun sirih yang dilumatkan. Amatlah nda menarik rupanya but don't judge a remedy by their looks.

2. Letak daun sirih yang dilumatkan dalam bekas plastik pertama dan campur air

Note: Sepa berani sikit mati campur la sikit jak air dan kalo tidak berapa berani mati simpan banyak sikit air, dalam 150ml. Air daun sirih ni pedih.

3. Goncangkan campuran tersebut dan saringkan ke dalam bekas plastik kedua.

Macam main masak2 pula sy rasa.. Hihihi...


Cara menggunakan:

1. Celupkan kapas (ala, kapas muka tu) ke dalam air daun sirih dan titiskan ke dalam mata. 

2. Tutup mata selama 20 saat. Ini mengurangkan rasa pedih dalam mata.

3. Amalkan 5 kali sehari. Bila mata nampak macam sudah sembuh, teruskan penggunaan 1 hari lagi. Jangan terus berhenti.

Note: Jangan celup kapas yang telah digunakan kembali ke dalam air daun sirih. Ini adalah untuk maintain hygene tuan2 dan puan2 sekalian.

Note 2: Jangan guna air daun sirih yang sama selepas 24 jam. Buat air daun sirih yang baru setiap hari. Hygene is key.  

Haaaaa.. Selain menyembuhkan sakit katut, air daun sirih ni boleh juga digunakan untuk menyembuhkan sakit mata tau. *Ala yg buat mata jadi merah lagi menyala tu, sampai orang nda berani tengo mata kita tu* Kalo katut pula boleh ambil lebihan daun sirih yang dilumatkan dan tempek di bahagian yang bengkak. Pedih la rasa tapi no pain no gain kan.. Tahan jak la kalo mau baik. Hehe....

Ni jak la untuk kali ni. Selamat mencuba. Cheers and wassalam...

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The Voice Of Conscience

Calmness settled around me
"I will be fine," I said
"Everything will be alright"
A smile settles on my lips.

Then Conscience awakens
"My poor, poor child.."
"Your head is in the clouds.."
"You have yet to comprehend just what you have done"
"Wake up! Wake up! Before you fall from even greater heights"

I stood and screamed defiantly
"Silence! You know not of what you speak!"
"What's done is done, I cannot un-ring the bell"

Conscience looked at me with sad eyes
"You will rue the day you went against their wishes"
"You will rue the day you took the hard way"
"You will rue the day you followed your heart"

"I will NOT! The decision is mine and mine alone!"
"Whatever the outcome, at least it is by my own hands"
Tears well up in my eyes and formed a path down my cheeks.
"This is my life..," I whispered brokenly.

Conscience whirls around and says sharply
"That is the talk of fools!"
"The talk of babes whose wings have yet to spread fully"
"Cease this nonsense my child"
"Why chose such a hard road full of thorns and sharp stones
when a road of silk and sweet scented flowers welcomes you?"

I gave her a watery smile and say
"I choose sharp stones over silken roads,
and thorns over scented flowers because I believe"
"I believe, and that's all that matters"

Conscience shakes her head impatiently,
turns and walks away.
She pauses then turns around and say
"May God Help you then,"
"Ah,"said I. "He already has,"

Sunday, December 11, 2011


Sekarang ni kawan kamu si Phy tengah sakit mata. Bengkak, on the way mau jadi katut la katakan. Eh, eh, jangan sangka buruk tau. Sy teda pigi intai2 orang mandi atau tukar baju kah apa. Dosa tu, dosa tu.. Sy ni kan budak baik... *Dipersilakan muntah atau ketawa terbahak-bahak ya tuan2 dan puan2*

Al-kisahnya bermula begini, *bagi yang ingin mengetahui lah. Kalo nda mau tau sila ke perenggan seterusnya. Terima kasih* Dua malam lepas sy dengan hati dan tangan yang gatal pergi pakai gel eyeliner warna biru di mata. Test skill lah kunu. Manatau sudah lupa cara2 pakai eyeliner jenis ini kan. Okay lah juga, skill tu masih ada kunu. Bila bangun pagi kemarin (dalam bahasa West Malaysianya 'semalam'), sy rasa mata sy sakit. Bila belek2 muka yang tidak seberapa ini depan cermin baru nampak, rupanya bengkak.

Oleh kerana takut2 melarat jadi katut, sy pun mulalah ingat2 balik petua2 orang2 tua pasal mau kasi hilang katut ni. Ada yang cakap tekap bahagian yang bengkak dengan tuala panas, ada yang cakap letak serbuk kayu manis, letak madu liar/mentah dan ada yang cakap letak air daun sirih.

Serbuk kayu manis saja yang ada di rumah, jadi sy pun dengan 'condifen'nya letak serbuk tu di bahagian mata yang bengkak. Ya ampun, punya lah pedih + gatal + berasap! Rasa macam mau lumpat-lumpat *Tapi musti lah sy nda lumpat. Hilang lah ayu sy* Ke'enak'an sakit tu, sampai keluar air mata. Tapi oleh kerana mau baik punya pasal, setiap 2 jam sy letak kayu manis tu. *Iya, setiap 2 jam juga sy rasa mau lumpat2* Gigih kan?

Namun apakan daya, kegigihan kawan kamu ni si Phy nda ke mana. Sama juga tu mata bengkak. Actually, makin bengkak lagi sikit. Jadi sy tiada pilihan melainkan cuba petua seterusnya, iaitu tekap tuala panas di bahagian mata yang bengkak. Yang ini nda payah cakap la nikmatnya macam mana. Jangan bilang lumpat2, nafas pun jadi nafas naga. Aduih...

Pagi tadi minta kirim my mum beli daun sirih. Mau tumbuk dalam lesung campur air dan air tu titiskan di mata. Ini pun bikin mata pedih juga ni. Apa lah nasib kawan kamu si Phy ni? Tiada kah petua yang nda sakit, pedih dan sewaktu dengannya? Heraaaannnnn... Apa bulih buat lah, tahan jak la kan? Sanggup lagi tahan sakit dari tahan malu berkatut kunu.

Kalo kamu ada apa2 petua untuk hilangkan katut atau mengelakkan katut tu dari menjadi, sila2 lah kongsikan kio. Kalo petua tu nda menyakitkan lagi2 lah digalakkan berkonsi. Hehe..

Ini jak la cerita kawan kamu yang malang untuk kali ini. Cheers and wassalam.

Friday, December 09, 2011

Perangai Buruk Si Phy: Malar Jak Menukar Bah..

Hello... Apa khabar, sihat kah?

Di sini sy mau cerita sikit tentang satu lagi perangai buruk *Ish, nda abis2 dengan perangai buruk kan?* sy iaitu suka tukar-tukar produk. Ni memang sy rasa macam satu penyakit, nda kira lah  produk skincare kah, rambut kah, badan kah. Selalunya skincare lah. Sy ni suka mencuba dan suka membeli. Tapi kan tapi kan, kalo setakat tukar-tukar produk jak tiada juga bah masalah. Rasanya besa la tu kalo perempuan kan? *Kasi salah lagi tu jantina kunu, walhal memang nafsu serakah sendiri.. Huhu..* 

Masalah sebenar ialah sy ni tukar produk sebelum produk tu habis. Sy cepat bosan guna satu produk bah. Baru separuh botol sudah sy boring. Beli lagi produk baru yang lain. Teruk kan, teruk kan? Ish... Jarang betul sy dapat jumpa something yang sy suka betul sampai sy guna habis. Kalo ada tu, maknanya memang sy suka kaw2 lah benda tu.

Sy betul2 tabik dengan orang yang boleh beli botol syampu atau shower gel yang sampai 5 Liter *Okay2 drama la pulak, maksud sy 1.5 Liter* dan guna sampai habis. Nda cukup begitu, bila sudah habis, diorang beli lagi dengan jenama dan haruman yang SAMA. OMGHHKP! Kalo sy kan, sy pengsan sudah tu gara2 terlampau keboringan. Rasa2nya orang2 macam ni jenis steady kan? Nda pun mungkin jenis yang setia. *Tup! Terkena hidung sendiri. Jadi maknanya sy bukan jenis setia lah ni? Huwaaaa...*

Oleh sebab sy takut kena soal di akhirat nanti sy sekarang mula sudah meng'adjust'kan diri. Kalo dulu beli produk full sized tapi sekarang beli produk saiz comel lagi kementot supaya belum sy sempat boring, sudah habis. Haaa... Rugi sikit la dari segi harga sebab makin besar saiz produk, makin jimat bila banding harga atas kandungan. Tapi rasanya lagi rugi kalo beli barang saiz besar lepas nda habis pakai kan? Dosa eh membazir.. Huhu...

Jadi sy mau tau kalo kamu pun ada sikap yang sama (cepat boring, atau belum habis guna sudah tukar)? Atau pun kamu ni jenis sebaliknya?

Tu jak la untuk kali ni. Cheers and wassalam..

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Phy Is An Internet Junkie

Hello peeps..

As much as it's a pain in my bootylicious tush to admit, I am an Internet junkie. I could spend hours on it watching YouTube, updating my blog, blog walking, following the tweets of celebs and friends on Twitter and updating my Facebook status 1586172653434217235 times a day.

is feeling happy today..  \(^o^)/

I get disgruntled when I get cut off from the Internet. It's not that I can't live without it, I just think that life becomes dull without it. Crappy Internet connection pisses me off while the opposite garners an impressed ''Oooohhh.. So faaaaasssttt.. I liiiikkkkkeee..." from me. When I am in the middle of my YouTube marathon, an interruption almost always makes me want to bite someone's head off. *I can imagine the Gods and Goddesses of Google, Twitter, Facebook and YouTube smiling indulgently down at me, while nodding their heads approvingly*

Now if any of my future employers happen to stumble upon this particular post of mine, do not fear. No, you don't need to hesitate in employing me and no, you don't have to limit the Internet connection line on my PC. I'm so into the Internet that the above only happens when I have hours and hours to kill. The few minutes of free time (which is to be used to take deep breaths and refocus) during work is just not worth going online for. You can take my word for it.

Are you addicted in love with Mr Internet?

That's all for now. Cheers peeps and wassalam..

Phoebe Is An Internet Junkie...

Hello peeps..

As much as it pains me in my bootylicious 

Phoebe Is An Internet Junkie...

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

Bangun Pagi Tebuk Jari...

Hari ni terpaksa bgn awal pagi sebab mau pigi Klinik Kesihatan amik ujian darah berpuasa. Arrrghhh! Nda suka nda suka... Sudah la kwn kamu ni si Phy bukan penggemar bangun pagi. Urgh! Bukan malas bah but I'm not a morning type of person (Cheh! Buat alasan lagi. Kalo sudah malas tu mengaku jak la). Tapi betul, sy kalo bangun pagi mesti berlipat sana sini dulu baru bangun. Alasan stretching.*Tapi kalo ikut logik, adakah org yg stretching sampai 15 minit? Siap ada bunyi berdengkur lagi* Tiada lah sy buka mata jak trus duduk menggeliat dengan over sambil senyum dari telinga ke telinga.

Kalo berurusan dengan hospital kerajaan atau klinik kesihatan wajib datang awal. Biar staff menyampah tengo muka kita sebab beza orang yang datang awal dengan lambat ni yang awal tunggu 1 jam jak br kena layan tapi yg datang lambat ni 5 jam baru kena layan. Haaaaa... Sebab tu la beta gigihkan diri datang menghadap pintu Makmal jam 7.15am lagi walaupun dengan  lamgkah yang lemah longlai dan mata berair (gara2 menguap lebih2).

Ganjarannya sy yang delwan kena check darah. Lepas lab assistant tu tebuk jari sy, dia suruh sy minum air gula satu gelas. Minum la kunu sy. Atukkkooooooiiii... Sudah lah panas tu air gula, manis barabis lagi. Macam terbakar kerongkong sy. Mau minum capat2 macam mau muntah la pula. Uih, uih, uih... Dasaaaaattt worrrr.. Sudah la tu, sambung puasa lagi 2 jam jadi ndalah bulih minum air. Seksa seksa...
Manisnya air gula tu bikin taubat mau makan benda2 manis lepas ni. Jangan bilang gula2, coklat pun ndakkan beta layan... Okay tipu *kedapatan lobang hidung kembang*.. Kalo coklat tu kawan kamu ni tatap layan juga la. Ala, cubit sikit2 jak la. Cubit2 manja la katakan.

Menunggu la kunun sy 2 jam berlalu. Punya boring... Sudah lah boring, haus lagi. Ini la part paling mencabar bila buat ujian darah berpuasa.15 minit terakhir tu lagi lah. Rasa macam mau lumpat2 jak.*Pedahal bukannya masa makin cepat bergerak pun kalo lumpat2. Bikin hilang ayu dan glamour jak* Nasiblah ada handphone pintar (yang dibeli ngan duit hutang-cari-nahas-sendiri) sebagai penghibur. Dapat la sy compose entry ini. Sekurang2nya nda juga terasa sgt seksa menunggu.

Tup tup masa untuk tebuk jari kali kedua pun tiba. Rupanya bad news.. Aduih... Sakitnya hati. Kacaunya jiwa. Macam hilang arah sekejap. Sedihnya hanya Allah jak lah yang tau. Salah sy kah? Bukan, salahkan hormon doktor bilang. *Betul ni doktor yang bilang, bukan sy mau unjuk jari suka suki*  Jadi bermula lah hidup kawan kamu ni ulang alik pigi Hospital. Terus terang, rasa macam mau naik pigi puncak Hotel Juta lepas tu terjun. Kurang sungguh kesanggupan sy. Apa boleh buat la kan, pasrah jak lah...

Tu jak lah cerita sy untuk kali ni. Kurang cheers hari ni.. Huhu..

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Merdeka! Dan Al-Kisah Banker Ala Detektif

Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka!

"Apa la mimpi kawan sy si Phy ni tiba2 laung merdeka ni? Hari merdeka Malaya dan Malaysia kan dua2 sudah limpas? Sot eh.." Bukan mimpi, bukan sot. Lali lagi lah bukan. Sebenarnya ada berita gumbira bah ni yang sy mau share kavagu. Last Friday pihak IPDT call sy dan maklumkan yang JPA sudah approve resignation sy. Jadi tiada sudah ikatan sy sama Kerajaan. Yay! *Uinah, amik masa 4 bulan juga lah mau selesai. Kalo ada ayam mengeram telur masa sy tender resignation sy hari tu, bujang dah anak dia kan? Silap2 jadi nenek sudah ayam tu.*

Sudah sy selesai tap dancing macam penguin Happy Feet sy pun tanya lah pasal gaji sy. Sy sebenarnya susah hati juga kalau2 gaji sy terus 'berjalan' selama 3 bulan ni sebab malas bah sy 'ada hutang' dengan Kerajaan. Banyak songeh. Kalo kurang di pihak diorang bukan main lagi macam Along minta bayar balik. Bila kurang di pihak kita macam kura2 mau bayar kita balik. Maaf kalau ada yang terasa. Ini bukan hasutan tau, tapi reality.

Eh, eh melarat pula. Balik pada cerita asal. Rupa2nya diorang sudah hentikan gaji sy 2 bulan lepas. One more Yay! Menari2 lagi sekejap sebelum sy sedar something yang buat sy rasa bagai dipanah petir. Oh no! Jadi komitmen sy dengan cik abang Bank Rakyat dan cik abang PTPTN 2 bulan sudah la tidak kena bayar? Oh tiddaaaaakkkk.... Terbayang2 yours truly kena masuk lokap sebab gagal bayar hutang2 yang diri sendiri minta puji pigi cari. *Cue lagu* Tiwas! Tiwas!Koooootttooohhh!!!

Walaupun rasa macam cacing kepanasan terpaksa juga tunggu hari Isnin untuk settle hal ni. Malangnya pagi Isnin tu juga la mimpi sy paling enak, sedap dan nyaman (Sy mimpi yang sy buat presentation yang penting dalam auditorium dan semua orang termasuk bos2 besar sy impressed barabis. Nah, ndakkah sedap, enak dan nyaman mimpi begitu tu?) Selepas melipatkan diri dalam posisi sujud dengan alasan mau stretching (pedahal mau curi beberapa saat lg ngorok) akhirnya bangun juga.

Sorry, I'm digressing again. Jadi jumpa la kunu orang yang berkaitan di Bank Rakyat cawangan Keningau. Bagus juga jantung dia, dia bagi sy nombor talipon di cawangan Likas. Call la lagi di sana. Lepas sudah minta sambung, cakap hello, kasitau nama tu suma begini la dialog kami:

Me: Sy mau maklumkan yang sy tidak bekerja lagi dengan Kerajaan jadi sy akan bayar secara tunai mulai dari sekarang.
Abang Bank Rakyat: Kenapa quit dari kerajaan? Susah tu mau dapat. Kerja kah sekarang?
Me: *Suka hati sy la bah mau quit kah inda* Sy berhenti atas kemahuan sendiri. Inda, sy nda bekerja sekarang ni.
Abang Bank Rakyat: Sudah kahwin?
Me: *Uh, apa kaitan? Blur...* Sudah. (Okay, belum bah. Tapi sepa suruh dia tanya soalan yang bukan2? Sy jawab juga lah yang bukan2.. Haha.. Kotoh kena terek..)
Abang Bank Rakyat: Kalo puan tidak bayar, puan boleh bankrupt ni. Boleh kena saman, masuk penjara.
Me: *Uih uih uih.. Men geratak ko ah. Rilek ko geng* Bayaran tu tiada masalah encik. Sy cuma mau tau macam mana caranya, kalau ada apa2 dokumentasi yang perlu follow up. (Chewah! Jawab macam kaya ala Donald Trump. Pedahal tercungap2 juga kalo bukan sudah prepare duit untuk bayar)
Abang Bank Rakyat: Blah.. Blah.. Blah (Bagi penerangan)

Kalo abang Bank Rakyat tu mau tukar profesyen jadi detektif pun ada bakat kan? Sy pun nda pasti soalan2 dia tu soalan standard kah atau atas dasar 'kepenyibukkan' (Wujud kah? Hehehe..) diri dia sendiri jak. Walaupun sy mau jawab dengan cara hampir memaki tapi sy tetap try jawab dengan berhemah soalan2 dia tu. Cool.. Cool.. Nda berbaloi sy rasa kedut2 usia singgah awal di muka sy gara2 layan sangat karenah abang banker yang perasan diri dia detektif. Hehe..

Jadi itu jak lah cerita sy untuk kali ni. Until the next time. Cheers!

Perangai Buruk Si Phy...

Sy ada satu (Satu jak? Tipuuuu.. Satu antara yang banyak la..) perangai buruk. Perangai ni sy rasa dari dulu ada tapi sekarang makin menjadi2 which is perangai malas mau makan. You may say "Biar betul, makan pun malas kah? Dasar pemalas!" Tapi serius! Sy betul2 rasa malas, bosan dan fed-up mau makan.

Bila kena tanya apa mau makan, sy rasa macam mau mengamuk. Tidak kira la d rumah kah, restoran kah, food court kah. Teruk kan? Setiap kali sy rasa begitu, sy rasa bersalah betul oh. Teringat wajah kanank2 yang kurang bernasib baik, yang makan pun ala kadar, makan untuk hidup.

"Abis tu kalo kesian, napa lg minta puji mau rasa bosan bila mau makan?" kamu tanya. Entah lah. To be honest, I wish I knew the answer and the cure to this nonsensical affliction. Terasa betul diri ini termasuk golongan orang yang tidak pandai bersyukur. Oh tidak.. Haishhh!!! Susah hati sy bila pikir ni.

Kalo kamurang ada apa2 idea macam mana mau cure perangai buruk kawan kamu yang malang ini (meaning yours truly) sila bagi cadangan kio. Tidak kira la apa pun. Doa kah, kismis doa kah, amalan di pagi hari kah, benda yang bikin sedap makanan hingga menjilat jari kah.. Jangan malu2 tau..

Ni jak la untuk kali ni. Till the next time. Cheers!

P/S: First time sy berblog majorly in Malay kan?

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Venturing Into New Genres

Hi there..
I had always been an avid reader since I was young. I mean, you can leave me anywhere as long as I have a good book. If I could live in Kinokuniya Bookstore, I would. My dream house would have a huge library in it. You get the picture.

I haven't been reading much lately because I used to read historical romances when I was growing up until my early twenties. Now, I feel that the cheesiness is unbearable. Although I also love other genres like mysteries, "chick lits" and a sprinkle of fantasy, I still felt a bit lost trying to figure out what new genre of books might appeal to me.

I was able to pick up a couple of books recently and they are definitely not the type that I would usually read. The first two books are from the House of Night series which is about teenage vampyres and the third book is Pillars of The Earth. Pillars of The Earth tells the story of the building of a magnificent cathedral during the turbulent times of twelfth-century England.

After Twilight came out a lot of TV shows and book series based on teenage vampyrism (is that even a word?). Now I'm sorry Twilight fans but I have never really liked Twilight, both the movie and the book. I feel that the movie is over-rated and the only reason why it was such a huge success was because Robert P looked good playing as Edward Cullen. The book was dark, hungry and depressing so much so that I didn't even bother to complete it. Because of all this, I never really took notice of any of the TV shows and books series of this genre.

I've seen the House of Night series (comprising of between 9 to 11 book I think) a few times when I went to bookstores but I never flipped through it. Then on one fine day I took the first book off the shelves and read a bit, only to find myself pleasantly surprised. Although it's not as fabulously awesome as Harry Potter (I'm a Harry Potter fan, can you tell? Hihihi...) but it's nowhere near as bad (in my opinion) as the Twilight series. It was interesting enough so I bought the first two books, Marked and Betrayed.

The Pillars of The Earth made it on Oprah's Book Club selection. Just as with the House of Night Series, I've seen it a few times in bookstores but never bothered to flip through it but not because I thought that it wouldn't be good but because I get intimidated when it comes to books that rely heavily on the history of England. Silly right?

In my defense England's history has never been a good one. Injustice, poverty, women being raped and treated like chattel, cruelty and incest among other things ran rampant during those times. It's not really something that I personally think would make an enjoyable and relaxing read.

However, Pillars of The Earth has been made into a mini TV series (Every Sunday at 10PM to 11.45PM) and I find it quite interesting. I've always been the type who would prefer to read the book before watching the motion picture that it's based on. So I gathered my courage and bought it.

I've read the first 100 pages of it and I regret that I remembered the one reason why I have always preferred to read books over watching motion pictures much too late. The reason is that books relate the exact feelings and thoughts of the characters. I could really feel the pain, frustration, fear and raw need of survival. I don't see this novel as the type that I would breeze through as usual. I find myself taking breaks and feeling conflicted of whether to go on reading or not.

I have pictures of  the books I mentioned above but due to my "excellent" connection to the Internet I am unable to upload them. Sorry peeps. Anyway that's all for now. Have a great start to the month of December 2011! Cheers and wassalam.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Untouched Is Not Always A Good Thing

Hello there..
My family home lies on a piece of land that sits on a hill. The air is fresh and crisp, the scenery is of blue skies, giant trees and other hills with quaint, miniature houses. Untouched. Serene. Sounds almost like a backdrop for the story Heidi or The Sound Of Music right?

The problem with it being untouched however, is that it

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Things That Phy Wish Are Invented

Hello readers..
Here is a list of things that I wish are invented at this day and age. Enjoy.

Alarm Alert For Small Items
I don't know about you but I'm constantly misplacing/losing my things. It's either my hand phone, keys or wallet. Being the scatter brain that I can sometimes be, I would be wasting a lot of my time going around in circles to no avail.

When I am lucky I would find what I was looking for just as I was on the verge of tearing my hair out. Other times when I am not so lucky, I would still not be able to find it even when I've thrown a hissy fit and screamed myself into hysterical rage. Okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic but you get my drift.

So I've always wished that there is some kind of alarm device that would alert me to where my things are at the press of a button. You know, like the car lock/unlock devise attached to your car keys. Or maybe something that makes my wallet and keys make a sound when I clap my hands once.

A Six-In-One Machine
When I get home from a long day at work or from an event that ends late at night, all I want to do is flop on to bed and be dead to the world until daylight comes. Removing my makeup and bathing is something that I loathe to do but have to do anyway.

That's why I wish someone would in vent a machine that has six functions:

  • Undress me
  • Remove my makeup
  • Clean me (including my face, hair and body)
  • Dry me (ditto)
  • Dress me for bed
  • Deliver me directly to my bed

I know, I know.. It's a long shot but a girl can dream eh?

A Dual Interchangeable Vehicle
Don't you get envious of motorcyclists when you're in your car and stuck in a bad jam? I do. It grates on my nerves to see them ride to the front, right before the traffic light, and be the first ones to go when it turns green. Then again when it rains I would always look at them with sympathy as they brave through the pelting raindrops (to which I can attest feels more like pebbles. It hurts!) as I cruise by in a car, safe and dry.

With that being said, I wish that there is a vehicle that can be a car and a motorcycle interchangeably when the occasion calls for it. A motorcycle during a jam or when I'm feeling daring, and a car when it rains or passing through wet patches and dusty, unsealed roads.

Another marvelous variation would be a car the can make itself slim enough to go between cars, not unlike the Knight Bus from the Harry Potter series. Hehehe... Now if I could only find an inventor who is also a wizard...

So there you have it, just some of the things that I constantly daydream existed. Who knows, at the rate that technology is developing, we might see some of these items by the year 2020 (ah yes, the magic number). What are the things that YOU wish are invented?

Have a nice Sunday everyone. Cheers and Wassalam.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

A Rant: Dumb And Dumber Government Clinic Style

Hello there,

Yesterday I went to the government clinic in my district and registered as it was my 1st time going there. Everything was fine until I was asked what my race was. Here's how it went:

Dumb And Dumber Scene 1
Nurse: Apa bangsa ko? (What is your race?)
Me: Indian Kadazan.
Nurse: Jadi mana satu laitu? Mesti satu jak. Ikut bapa lah. Apa bangsa bapa ko? (So which one is it? There can only be one. Let's just follow your father's. What is your father's race?)
Me: Bapa saya la Indian Kadazan. (My father is Indian Kadazan)
Nurse: Bapa dia lagi? (What about his father?)
Me: Datuk saya orang India. (My grandfather is Indian)
Nurse: Nah, India la bangsa ko. (That makes you Indian)
Me:*Thinks* %^*&##

Two things dear readers.  First of all, why must there only be one race? What about the Sino-Kadazans? Or Murut-Ibans? Or any combination that you can think of? Surely in the form there is the 'lain-lain'/'others' option for us exotic beings?

Secondly, while I understand that the nurse was trying to figure out what race I fit into, and that it is common to follow the father's or the father's father's race, can I really fit into the race of Indian? One look at me and even a 2 month old baby can see that I am far from being pure Indian. I am not being racist and wouldn't mind in the least of being called Indian if I was REALLY pure Indian. However since I am not of a single race it's not right to say that I am.

Dumb And Dumber Scene 2
Nurse: Jadi mana satu ko mau taruh ni, India kah Kadazan? (So which one do you want to put on the form, Indian or Kadazan?)
Me: *Thinks* $#@^%*&

She might as well have asked me to cut a vital vein/artery and drain out either the Indian or Kadazan blood coursing through it. Maybe I seem to be making a mountain out of a molehill but seriously, why on earth should I have to choose between the two? I am both. End of story. Dummy.

Dumb And Dumber Scene 3
Nurse: Apa bangsa ko dalam surat beranak? (What is the race stated in your birth certificate?)
Me: Tiada bangsa saya dalam surat beranak, bangsa mama sama bapa saya jak. (My race is not stated in my birth certificate, only the race of my mother and father)

She didn't believe me. She seems convinced that I didn't know what a birth certificate was and kept doing hand gestures of a small piece of paper. She also insisted that my race is stated on it. I know what a birth certificate is and how it looks like thank you very much.

To be honest with you dear readers I have pored over my birth certificate desperately numerous times to have a clear statement on what my race is because this is not the 1st time the question of what race I am has been raised.

The nurse in Hospital Tuaran has also given me a dirty look when I told her I was Indian Kadazan. There was also the time when I was registering into UiTM KK where this one lecturer said in a loud, pompous voice that he suspects that I might not be eligible to enroll into UiTM because of my father's race. In my father's face. He also demanded a copy of my father's surat Mahkamah Anak Negeri stating that my father is a Bumiputera. I still get pissed every time I remember that incident.

Dumb And Dumber Scene 4
Me: Dalam surat beranak saya bangsa bapa saya Indo-Kadazan. (In my birth certificate my father's race is Indo-Kadazan)
Nurse: Hah, Indo-Kadazan? Macam Indonesia pula. (Hah, Indo-Kadazan? Sounds like Indonesian)
My Mum: Dulu Indo tu istilah yang kena guna kalau peranakan India. Lagipun Indon baru Indonesia kan. (Last time Indo is the term used to represent Indian for those who were interracial. Anyway Indonesian is stated as Indon right)
Nurse: Eh, ada juga Indonesia yang guna Indo tau.. Jaga... *In a mean, superior tone of voice* (Hey, there are Indonesian who use the term Indo too you know. Be careful)

In the end she wrote Indo-Kadazan. After raising so many questions.. After upsetting my mum.. If she were to write it down as it is anyway why on earth did she have to be so argumentative in the 1st place? Pelik kan? Alien kali tu nurse tu..

Well, I guess that's all for now peeps. Cheers and wassalam.

P/S: Click here for proof that the word Indo is used to represent India when linked with another place or race.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Phy Is So Excited She's Jumping Off The Roof (Well, Almost)

Hellooooooo.... Hellooooo... Helloooo....

Forgive me for my most jakun greeting ever. I've been away for soooooo loooonnnggg... All this while while I was at home at my parent's house being a parasite (sorry mum, dad) I've never been able to find a spot in the house where my HTC phone's wireless feature could function and now I've found iiiiitttt!!! Believe me when I say that I feel like I've found the Fountain Of Youth. Seriously!

For all that that excitement you'd think that I have exciting news but nothing really special has occurred really aside from the above. There are a few updates though, such as:

I've called JPA and they said that they have forwarded my resignation back to IPDT for further processing (turns out all the trouble went to get my resignation to JPA was just for their notification.. Cheh!). Good news is that on JPA's side there are no hiccups. Hopefully everything goes smoothly and no more idiots will be creating problems for me..

Second I have caught the Manga reading fever. Obviously I'm not the type to read about Naruto but I've read the romantic ones (duh!). So far I've read Monster Love and am currently reading Black Bird 36.So far so good. Now with the Internet line from my beloved HTC phone I would be able to continue my progress with Black Bird 36. Take my word for it, all of the stories that I've read so far are cheesy, corny and may insult your intelligence but hey, it's fun and oh so addictive.. Hehe..

That's all for now dear readers.. Have a nice weekend. Cheers! Wassalam..

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

October Update

Hello all...
I've been staying at my parent's house in my hometown for the past month hence the long hiatus because there is no Internet connection there. Again, during my stay there I had so much to write about but now have forgotten. Can you tell that this is going to be one of those rambly posts of mine? Hehehe... So here are some brief updates:

I am still jobless. My resignation had a snag that has hopefully been cleared up. Last I checked it is already on it's way to JPA. IPK people are rude and I hope never to have anything to do with them in the future (I hope but I know that I will because I have to pay back about two months salary that they have given me post resignation).

I went back to my hometown to settle a very important business. It looks like it has been settled but unfortunately there seemed to be some disagreements on their side so I will just wait and see if there will be any changes. I'm not holding my breath though. I'm now assuming that what has been decided is already signed and sealed, only left to be delivered within the 1st week of next month.

I have been an emotional wreck and discovered that sometimes you can feel alone even when there are dozens of people around you everyday. I also found out that it is possible to be absolutely okay one second only to be a complete sobbing mess the next. Even existing can seem like a monumental task when you are in a hopeless void.

I am currently in KL to bring back all my stuff back to KK but I am so worried because I have zero energy and my hands can't seem to grip properly. How on earth am I going to lug all my things back? Looks like I'm going to have to leave quite a lot of things here or post it.

So this is all for now peeps. Happy Deepavali to those celebrating. Wassalam..

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Phy The Rebel/Risk Taker/Could-Have-Been-Stunt-Woman..

Hi there..
When we were kids my parents were really protective of us. There were not a lot of things that we were allowed to do. There was always an excuse behind every 'No'. For cycling it was "You might fall". For swimming it was "You might drown", etc. You get the picture. So I can't swim to save my life. Or ride a bicycle. Darn.

I have hence grown up to become very touchy AND unpredictable about trying something new. I would either not want to do it for fear of everything that could go wrong/that I'd look foolish or I would just wing it and jump right in with no thought of the danger or risk out of rebellion.

I might cringe at playing any sports because I don't want to risk injury and I don't want to look awkward and clueless. On the other hand I have climbed Mount Kinabalu, gone snorkeling despite not knowing how to swim, rode crazy rides even when I am petrified of heights and other crazy things at a drop of a hat. I can honestly say that while I did all that because I really wanted to, I must admit and maybe there is a hint of rebellion behind it.

Sometimes I wonder if my life would be different if my parents had not been over-protective of me and my siblings. Perhaps I would even be a female stunt-driver by now. Or a professional diver. Hehehe.. I know, I know. My parents did it out of love. Can't really blame them too much now can I?  :)

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Phy the Pre-School Teacher (Well, Not Anymore)

Hi there,
During my time here in KL I had no idea how long I was going to stay so I decided to fill my free time with working as a pre-kindy which is only a lift ride away from my sister's apartment. It was kind of like a suicidal project because I never, and I mean NEVER had any experience in taking care of children. I am the youngest in my family and never took care of my younger cousins or anything like that.

During my 2 week stint I learned how to change a diaper, bring kids to the toilet (and clean them) when they want to 'shishi', coax kids into eating their veges and eating in the proper manner, bathe them (which believe me, is kind of  like bathing a pet cat or dog. Meaning you end up bathing too... With your clothes on). I got to know the kids, their temperament and how to handle them as individuals. I also teach them, fill their time with activities, etc.

Sounds easy right? Wrong!

I can handle the first portion of the job. It's only a matter of practice after all. Teaching them and maintaining their interest while trying to sync with their individual personalities was a total FAIL for me. Some were very attentive and interested to learn, others were easily (read: understatement) distracted. Of course there were those who wouldn't listen and becomes a bad influence to others. Oh, did I mention that I had to keep my eye on a 1 year old baby at the same time too?

Communicating was also a problem because my kids were international. I had Koreans, Indonesians, Malays, Chinese kids in my class. Most of them don't understand the English language, let alone Malay.

 Trying to get the pirate-ish kids to participate..

Believe me, reading to pre-kindy kids is never this serene.

 Them being spoiled little rich kids didn't help either. It's hard to teach them something that their parents don't instill in them in the 1st place. Some of the parents or family members would also do the 'security rounds' as I personally call them. I'd see them peeking through our windows, looking to see if we were doing our job well and up to their expectation. Which means we have to be super careful when we scold the children which we can never avoid.

Eventually I let go of the job. Some people might call me flighty, or even a quitter. After all, I did resigned from two different jobs in the span of 6 weeks. I don't see it that way at all. Before I resigned I did all that I could to see if there was any way, any way at all that it could work out for me. When I didn't see any way that could happen, I decided to not waste my time. After all, life is short and it would be a shame not to use it to do something more productive.

So that's what happened and how my teaching career came to a halt. I was glad that I did it because now I wouldn't be like a deer caught in the headlights in the event that I would have to bathe, feed or change a toddler's diaper. I am also able to rule out pre-kindy teacher from my list of potential careers.

So this is all for now. Cheers and wassalam.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Let's Be Honest: Raining Gold And Stones.. The Story Of A Repentant Sabahan

Hello there,
I remember when I was just turning 8 years old my eldest sister was offered a scholarship to study in one of the oldest universities in the country which was over the seas in West Malaysia. Towards the end of her study years she started to work part time and every time she came back she  would bring presents that seemed too fantastic for words. Things that wasn't available in Sabah at that time. Since then, I was obsessed about going to Kuala Lumpur (KL).

The Dream City

I managed to go vacationing in KL a few times throughout the years. However it was only when I was offered a job in the Government after completing my uni years that I finally was able to actually work (and obviously, live) in/near KL, not just visit it. Oh, I was dazzled at first. My dream was finally coming true for the first time after all.

Although it wasn't my first time going to KL, I marveled at the tall buildings (new ones keep popping up), the high end shopping malls, the crazy roads that seemed to be one on top of the other, etc. The excitement of it all stayed with me for months and I never gave any thought to my homeland.

Then a funny thing happened. After a while I began to feel numb to the tall buildings, the 'multi-layered' roads, the shopping complexes and the glitz. I began to miss my home state. I miss the beaches, the greenery, the food and the word 'Bah' being said properly. The majestic buildings in Putrajaya felt 2D to me, as if I was living in a gigantic postcard. It had no dept at all.

My beloved Land Below The Wind

I started to listen to Kadazan songs with Clarice John Matha's 'Adaa' and 'Rumandawi' being the song of choice, even learning them by heart. I would be able to distinguish a Sabahan from miles away (okay, that's being too dramatic but I really could distinguish a Sabahan face in a crowd) and would shamelessly strike up a conversation with them just to be able to 'speak Sabahan'. Basically, I was homesick.

My loyal companion during bouts of homesickness

Nine months later I managed to get transferred back to Sabah in a district that was relatively close to Kota Kinabalu (KK). Yup, after achieving my 'lifelong' dream to live in KL I decided to come home. When I landed at KKIA T2, I felt like going on all fours and kissing the ground. From then on I never had even the remotest feeling of longing to live in KL again.

The motive of me telling this long-winded story? It's to say that I really believe in the Malay saying 'Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri. Lebih baik negeri sendiri' which loosely means 'no matter how much better other places (tidak kira lah kampung kah, negeri kah ataupun negara) seem to be, and no matter how unattractive our own place (ditto) might be, our own place is still the best one to live in'.

I am a Sabahan and I am PROUD to be a Sabahan. For me, KL is a nice and exciting place to visit but definitely not a place to stay. I'm content with Sabah and I accept it with warts and all including the crappy public transportation system that decades of Independence seem unable to fix. Ahem.

This is all for now peeps. Cheers and wassalam.

P/S: Don't ask me where all this patriotism came from. Haha..

P/P/S: All pictures from Google Search.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Things That I Never Knew Before: Birthing Options.

Hi there,

2 days ago I watched a documentary on Youtube entitled The Business Of Being Born. It is a discussion about hospital births vs home births (with a midwife) and it really struck a chord in me because I learned about things that I never knew before and it really opened my eyes about the act of giving birth and all that comes with it.

Before this I thought (and I'm sure most of you though this too) that giving birth in a hospital, whether Government or private, is the only way to go. If I was asked if I wanted to give birth at home with a midwife as apposed to having a baby at the hospital I would have said,"No" because somehow it conjures an image in my head of an old lady using outdated methods on me.

The documentary is based on what is happening in the USA so I can't really say too much if it reflects fully on the birthing 'situation' in hospital here in Malaysia. However, based on some of the stories that I've heard from friends over the years about their birthing experience in hospitals, it is almost always a horror story anyway.

Now let me give a list on why (based on the documentary) hospital births are not favorable to women:

Too much intervention
Women who are admitted into the hospital for more than a few hours would be induced with Pitocin. Contractions from inducement hurt way worse than naturally occurring ones so Epidural is given to numb the pain. After that, another shot of Pitocin is given. Inducement can cause death in babies.

Doctors get knife happy
Doctors sometimes suggest C-section just to speed things along and not always out of necessity. C-section is a major surgery and carries high  risk. Mothers sometimes die on the operating bed or from bacterial infection of the wound after the surgery. Again, this is a USA based documentary.

Wrong position
A woman lying down on her back with legs raised in stirrups is not the best position for birth as it makes the pelvis 'smaller' thus making it harder for baby to come out. In turn this hurts the mother more.

Impersonal attention
Most women said that the doctors are not with them most of the time because they have to attend to other patients too. A close friend of mine told me that during her experience, the baby's head had already come out before she was rushed into delivery and a doctor showed up and attended to her.

Now lets go on to the reasons why home births with midwives are favorable to women:

Personalized attention
When an expecting mother experiences contractions, the midwife would come to the patient's house even if it's in the middle of the night and she will stay as long as needed to see if it's a false alarm or the real deal. The midwife is also with the patient 100% along the way, guiding put never forceful.

No drugs
This might seem like a disadvantage but drugs actually hamper the birthing experience. When a woman gives birth, especially a natural vaginal birth, a cocktail of 'love hormones' are released in her body and makes the mother feel very, very protective and loving towards her baby.

Now it doesn't mean that those who were induced or had epidural in the hospital don't love their baby. It's just that drugs can dull the mother's senses for a bit and she may not be able to experience the full extend of the 'love hormones'.

Optimum position
Midwives favor a squatting position as it makes the pelvis wider and easier for the baby to come out. Water births are also an option that a midwife can provide for her patient.

Comfort zone
Obviously with home births you will be giving birth in your home in an environment that you are familiar with, more privacy and you can actually created the environment that you want. For example you can put on soothing music, control your lighting (some women prefer to have a dimmer atmosphere in the room they choose to give birth as it feels soothing for them). As for the mess, don't worry, the midwives would do the clean up after the birthing is over.

It's cheaper
In the USA hospitals charge up to USD12,000 per birth and for the birth alone. Mid wives only charge USD4,000-USD5,000 for everything including postnatal care. In Malaysia too, I'm sure a midwife would charge less than what it would cost if  one were to go to a private hospital or medical center.

Note: Not to be prejudiced but Government hospitals do seem like the House of Horrors based on the stories of my friend who gave birth there. Most said that they would rather save up and go to private hospitals than go through the experience at a Government hospital again. So, jangan marah ha doctors and nurses.

Educated and Experienced
Contrary to popular beliefs, including mine, midwives are not just old ladies who are going to use medieval, barbaric methods on you. Far from it, they are actually educated with modern medicine and one has to be experienced before being able to be a certified midwife. So if complications do arise, they would have the knowledge to know if you need to be sent to the nearest hospital, etc.

Obviously there are pros to giving birth in a hospital such as having advanced medical equipment and doctors to attend to any medical complications. There are also  downsides to doing home births. However, do keep in mind that when a certified midwife meets you for the first time, she would first do an assessment of your medical history and the condition of your pregnancy to determine if you are a good candidate for home birthing. Obviously if you are a high risk patient, the midwife would recommend you to give birth in a hospital.

In Malaysia I am not sure if there are still any midwives (also known as Bidan in Malay) out there let alone certified ones. If you are a considering a home birth, try referring to your elders in case they know someone who still practices midwifery. Also, silly as it might seem, try referring to Family Planning clinics if they know any midwives. I personally think it's worth a shot.

To watch the documentary, click here.

Yes, a very out of the ordinary topic for me but when I watched this documentary I just felt so much more empowered and I want to share it with other women out there.

This is all for now. Cheers and wassalam..

Friday, September 16, 2011

The Bane Of Having A Female Boss...

Hi there
I've worked under a female boss trice now in my lifetime. Even though I am a woman myself, I have to say that I prefer to have a man as my boss. An alpha male that is. And no, it's not because I can use my feminine wiles on him. Honestly, as far as experience goes men are more straight forward.

They say what they mean and mean what they say. Women on the other hand have a common affliction which is saying one thing but wanting the other yet expecting people to fulfill what they want instead of what they said by reading their mind.

You know, the 'No it's okay' when what we actually mean is 'Are you demented? Of course it's not okay!!!!'. Ladies, admit it. We do it all the time. I would be the first to admit that I do it too. But when a lady boss does it, it is the biggest pain in the ar*e.

Another thing about female bosses is that they always ASSUME. If an employee comes in a dour mood, it's because she/he is not happy working where she/he is and not because they had a family problem. If the employee comes in late or leaves early it's because she/he is lazy or undisciplined and never because their child is sick/their car broke down/they are using unreliable public transport.

Woe betide you if you have ever dare to disagree with her. She-bosses never, ever brush disagreements aside. They seem to have it saved up in their mental hard drive where they can retrieve, replay and keep again to keep the feelings of hurt and anger alive. The worst part is? They take revenge. Disagree with her? No leave approval and give you hell for taking emergency leave.

I am sure a lot of you have experienced this. In fact, I am experiencing it now. Not fun. Not fun at all. Oh well. Will be flipping the papers for a new job. Hehe...

This is all for now dear readers. Cheers!

Sunday, September 04, 2011

3rd International Artistic & Rythmic Gymnastics Friendship Competition.

I went to have lunch at Sunway Giza with my elder sisters yesterday and we were pleasantly surprised when we found out that an International Artistic & Rythmic Gymnastics Friendship Competition was being held there at that time. Hungry as we were, we decided to stop for a while to watch. Here are some photos:

Team New Zealand warming up. How I wish that I could do a split like that..

Such flexibility....

 From New Zealand doing  her ball routine..

 Spinning while holding this position is no small feat..

 New Zealand doing her ribbon routine..

Trying to catch the ribbon while looking graceful. Not always a success..

 Representing Hong Kong...

Lithe, petite and graceful...

My favorite participant, and not only because she represents Malaysia. 

 Malaysia with her ribbon routine. Although she did better with her ball routine (only one minor boo boo)
she almost never lost her smile even when she dropped her ribbon...

..or when she had to release a knot from her ribbon. She really was one of the best on the floor.

This is an amateur competition so of course there were a lot of apparatus dropping and hoops missing the mark. It was still enjoyable to watch as long as you don't expect a perfect performance like those in the Olympics. I still admire the courage, flexibility and strength that these girls displayed. Some of them were really quite good.

A common sight.. Opps! Hihi...

Makes me think about those who compete in the Olympics. I could only imagine the blood sweat and tears that went into their quest for the perfect performance. Phew!

When I have a child one day I would want my child to participate in gymnastics, InsyaAllah. Not to necessarily be a national champion but just to learn about balance, strength, teamwork, and sportsmanship. However, if he or she has the ability to go beyond and compete in a higher level (the Olympics perhaps? Hehe..), why not right?

This is all for now. Cheers! Wassalam...

Friday, September 02, 2011

Disappearing Act..

Hi y'all..

It has been such a long time since I had updated my blog and there are a lot of reasons behind it. During the past 2 weeks me and my sisters have been going out shopping and sightseeing all day and returning home at 10.30pm EVERY NIGHT (I kid you not) with only (read: barely) enough energy to bathe and prepare for bed (wash ze face, brush ze teeth, etc). So I'm sure you can understand when I say that I have had no time or energy to do any updates.

I have been wanting to do a haul post on my other blog which is phoebe-loves-makeup.blogspot.com showing all the things that I got but again, I had no time. Sorry peeps.

However, I'm sure you have noticed that my lack of post had started from early August 2011. There are reasons for that too. I have had to make really hard decisions this month. I have never felt more pressured and helpless in my life. I had to make a decision about my career, I had to make a decision about my relationship and above all something happened in my personal life that just threw me out of balance.

In fact it is so HUGE that I would actually call it a crisis. Not just an argument-with-a-close-friend type of crisis either. Ah dear readers, I wish that I could tell you but I can't at the moment. Not until the people that matters the most know. Shopping and sightseeing as I may have been doing, I couldn't escape the thoughts that have made me unable to sleep at night. They run like a 1000m/h in my head (or so it seems).  

In time I will tell you. Or maybe I might not announce it officially but will refer to it in passing. All I can say for now is that there is a lot riding on this and a lot of decision to be made within it. On top of it all whatever decision that I make will have an impact on the people around me. Sigh!

I'm off to have dinner with my sisters and we are going for Japanese food this time. Yay! The past few days have been noodles, pizzas and pastas all the way up to a point that I had to put my foot down and demanded for Japanese food (Yeah, the choice for tonight's type of food is my doing. Hehe...). Sepa tahan oh tiap2 hari makan Western. As much as I love cheese, I have found myself to gag at the sight of it as of now. Cheese overdose. Huhu...

Okay, so this is all for now peeps. More updates soon, InsyaAllah. Have a great weekend. Cheers!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

A Merry Goose Chase...

Hi all..
My leave got approved! I am in KL right now, completing my 30 day notice. Let me tell you though that I had to make a lot of phone calls and got kicked from one person to another like a football before finally being able to get any definitive answers (and sometimes, not even that).

They really tried to make it difficult for me and I think if I hadn't persevered I wouldn't have had my leave approved and I would have had to pay one month's worth of basic salary. The person at Records Department in IPK told me that I cannot apply for leave during my 30 day notice. I felt that it was weird because I don't remember reading about it in the rules and regulations of resignation.

So I called Bukit Aman and they said the same thing. They said that my remaining leave days are considered 'burned' and so are my 4 days of OT. It was only when I called JPA that I got a different answer. The lady from the Records department at JPA said that I was eligible to claim a reduced number of leave (as I wasn't working until the end of the year) as well as my 4 OT days as off days.

I called Bukit Aman again and the lady there sounded subdued when I countered what she said earlier to me with what the JPA lady said. She replied by saying that if that's what JPA said then it's fine for me to go ahead with applying my leave. Cis! Pedahal mula-mula bukan main lagi dia minta puji. Mesti hadir tugas tanpa gagal lah, apa lah.  

In turn, I called IPK Record department again and told THEM about it but the lady there still insisted that I must work during the 30 day notice because my reason for leaving was for getting a new job in the private sector. She kind of was telling me that I should just do it and not complain. In other words, forget about taking the leave. As if I would go down without a fight. No sirree!

I called JPA again and JPA said that the reason for resignation is nobody's business. I could resign for whatever reason that I wanted and it shouldn't and in fact cannot affect my right to apply for leave during my notice. Imagine if I didn't try to find out from other sources and just relied on IPK or Bukit Aman. I would be wasting almost RM1K. Dosa besar diorang ni tau.. Ei...

Itu baru pasal cuti, belum masuk bab gaji lagi. The IPK lady said that I must pay back my pay for the month of August 2011 and give back the RM500 bonus. I called Bukit Aman in the Salary department and found out that I was eligible for it since anyone who has worked from the 1st of January 2011 to the 8th August 2011 is entitled to get it. Pekeliling JPA bil 8 2011 or something. I had only started my 30 day notice on the 11th of August 2011.

Moral of the story? Mesti mau tanya dari sumber-sumber yang berbeza sebelum berpuas hati dengan jawaban yang diberi. Sometimes the people that we ask are not really well-versed in rules and regulations as they'd like to think they are. Kalau boleh tanya di HQ. Jangan la mau tanya yang setakat di peringkat daerah atau negeri jak. Bukan mau pandang rendah but you can see for yourselves from my experiences right the merry goose chase that they sent me on?

Hopefully there will be no hiccups (although I have a niggling feeling that it would be otherwise). Anyway, I am so glad to be away from that dratted office and when I heard that OPS for road safety is going to start operating today I felt so relieved that I no longer play any part in it. When I look back at all the things that I went through in that small office, I'm surprised that I stayed on as long as I did.

Oh well.. What's most important to me now is that it is almost completely over now. Hopefully I will be able to get a better job with better pay in a better place among better people. Amin.. :)

This is all for now friends. Cheers!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Phy Is Finally Resigning..

Assalamualaikum and hello peeps...
Yup, you read right.. I am finally, finally taking the big step of resigning from the Government. I don't deny that I feel somewhat scared and anxious about my future but at the same time I feel a sense of excitement about it as well.

I have made my decision known to my boss on Thursday afternoon and he didn't really stop me, although he did ask me to think about it carefully as a lot of people that he knew that resigned ended up regretting their decision. I told him that there is a chance that I may regret it in the future (we might never know), but I really think that it is the best course for me right now.

I have been saying that I wanted to resign since the month of May 2011. So you may ask, what finally pushed me over the edge? Well, a lot actually. Not that I would go specifically into each incident with too much details. Something that happened on Thursday morning was the straw that broke the camel's back..

It really wasn't too big of a deal if that was the only thing that happened. The week before saw me storming off as well from indecent policemen shouting in my face disrespectfully and the week before that my boss made my blood boil from giving me a warning for leaving 15 minutes early while letting others who went out 2 hours early Scott-free.

He even defended them saying that they do more work than I do, which made me wonder how did they have 2 hours more free time than I if that was really the case? Oh, and I never knew that discipline in terms of working hours are only for those who work at counters and not applicable for those in the administration offices. Thanks boss.

So yeah, I finally made my intention known and clear. I thought that I would just need to type up a resignation letter and submit. It turned out that there are forms to fill (download sendiri from the Internet), interrogation (which is totally unnecessary in my opinion. I want to leave cause, obviously, the place sucks), personal letter of resignation and letter of approval from the Big Boss (which again is unnecessary according to the Perintah Am).

Grr... Resigning from the Government is really like going through a messy divorce. I just can't wait to get it over with. I also requested to use up all my leave for the remaining month. Lets just hope it gets approved because I'll be going to KL on the 20th August 2011 and take time to settle my "divorce" from the Government after I come back. I guess it's really up to them whether we do it the easy way or the difficult way.

This is all for now folks. Cheers! Wassalam..

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Ya Allah... Ku Mohon...

Ya Allah,
Kumohon ampun atas segala dosa
dan kejahilanku selama ini.

Ya Allah,
Ku mohon kekuatan dariMu
agar aku dapat mengahadapi cabaran
yg Engkau izinkan atas diriku

Ya Allah,
Ku mohon redhaMu
Agar segala yg ku lakukan
adalah hanya untukMu

Ya Allah
Ku mohon perlindunganMu
Binalah  benteng sekelilingku
agar dijauhkan aku dari musuh-musuhMu

Ya Allah,
Ku mohon bimbinganMu
Agar ku dapat menjalani hidupku
sesuai dengan kehendakMu..

Ya Allah,
Ku mohon semua ini
Moga-moga Engkau izinkan aku
untuk mendapat tempat bersamaMu di Syurga.