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Former makeup enthusiast and bookworm. Currently adopting a minimalist lifestyle. Contact me at phylliciarobert@gmail.com for inquiries.
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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Cari Jodoh... Or Rather, They Do It For Me

Dear readers,
As I was spring cleaning my pendrive I came across this draft that I made back when I was in West Malaysia. I totally forgot to publish it! Anyway, I decided to publish this post even though it’s long overdue.. Hope you guys enjoy it..  

I don’t know why but lately it seems that my female colleagues have made it their life’s purpose to fix me up with someone and get me married before I’m 25. I’m not sure if it’s out of sisterly love or if they’re just jelouse that I can walk free and easy when shopping whereas they have to lug their screaming kids with them everywhere. Almost every week I will hear the words like: 
"Come on and follow me to the 2nd floor. There are a lot of single guys there" 
"You should check out the doctor from Biosecurity… He’s cute AND single…"*meaningful wink*
"There’s a Sabahan boy up at the 5th floor who asked for your number. Shall I give it to him?"

Look, I have nothing against marriage and having kids. To all my friends who are happily married with their cherubic brood of kids, allow me to extend my warmest congratulations to you. I am happy for you and I hope for that too for myself in the future (read: in the FUTURE). Not right now. 

From where I come from, marriage and kids don’t really stop us from having fun. With that being said, to my people it doesn’t matter whether you marry young or a bit later in life. Well, at least not too much. Here where I’m currently working in however, it seems as if I’m living in another planet altogether.

I’m 24 years old, fabulously single and have a career. The world is my oyster. I should be rejoicing right? Not according to these people. For them, young ladies like myself MUST get married AND have kids ASAP. Why? Here are some of the reasons: 

  1. If you’re too picky, you’ll end up a spinster.
  2. Your parents (or in-laws for those who are married) are lonely and want to have grandchildren to play with.
  3. You need someone to take care of you. 
  4. Unless you’re married and have children (note that it’s plural) your life is not complete. 
  5.  Don’t really like the guy much? Don’t worry, love will grow in time.  

Let’s start with the first reason. I don’t think that being picky is bad. It’s good because it helps us women to filter the good from the bad and the ugly. Women need to have some standards when it comes to picking their partners. Not necessarily the famous 5Cs but some form of benchmark. And no ladies, ‘as long as he’s breathing’ does not count as a benchmark. 

Next let’s go to the parents being lonely thingy. What’s my answer to that? Ask them to get a pet, have another baby of their own or take a foster child. Even better, get all three. That should keep them occupied for a few more years. It pisses me off to no end when parents and/or in-laws pressure their children to have a baby just so that they can have something to play with in the day time or on the weekends. That’s just selfish. 

Okaaayyy.. On to the third reason. Feminists would foam at the mouth if you tell them that women need a man to take care of them. Personally I think I’m quite capable of taking care of myself but I would definitely feel safer if I have a brave, ripped, macho man by my side. Hehehe…So I kinda agree with them on this point.  

The fourth reason is about completeness. You see, there are two basic types of completeness. The first one is external and the other is internal. Having a husband and children may complete you externally but that doesn’t guarantee that you feel complete internally. E.g. Being married with children but it’s a loveless marriage. Singletons can be ‘whole’ as it’s really up to the individual and what they want at that particular point of their lives, a concept that the people here can’t seem to phantom. 

Lastly, getting married with just about any breathing male within your immediate reach because you’re afraid of not having a white picket fence and two children before you’re 25 is just wrong. If you’re not compatible with a guy or you’re just not that into him then don’t marry him. Seriously, need I say more?   

Once again, I have nothing against marriage and having children.. I’d love to have a family of my own someday. Really… Although I do appreciate the efforts of my kakaks at the office, please stop trying to fix me up with someone. Unless of course if you personally know Faizal Tahir, Jehan Miskin or Fahrin Ahmad… *Meaningful wink*



far said...

phy! i TOTALLY PERSONALLY like ur entry this tym! I Heart U! TOTALLY AGREE~! ehe =D

Amanda Christine Wong said...

when i was still studying, people ask me when im finishing. now that i've finished, people ask me when im getting married. AAAAAA

Phoebe said...

Effa: Thanks gurl. I think evey unmarried woman over the age of 23 experience this. Hehehe...

Manda: And after you've married they'll be asking you when will you be having a baby.. double yikes... hahaha...

Lazy Kitty said...

Loveeeee it,phy..*wink*

Phoebe said...

Thank you dear.. Glad you like it.. :)

beba said...

haha..even when you're married and have kids then they will ask "When are you going to have another one?" it's just and unending cycle, going on and on...

I think 23 is too early to think about marriage I myself get married at 25..but then I did found my significant other. so why wait.. :D