Phy Says: Dressing Better = Dating Someone?

Hello there..

Since I have been taking an active interest in what I wear, I've had a nagging suspicion that my colleagues were going to speculate on the "Why"s. True enough, I was off duty on Saturday but had to go back to the office to do a daily report for a few minutes before going for breakfast with my parents and Sophie. I wore my lacy mint dress with a black shrug over it, black flats and a thin, mint hairband in my hair. When I went to the lower offices to submit my report, the clerks were like,"Whoah! Giiirrlll, you MUST be meeting your boyfriend!".

The outfit..

I blush really easily so even though I suspected that they would speculate as such, I couldn't stop myself from blushing which they took as a "Yes" to their theory. I laughingly told them that no, I didn't have anyone special and can't a girl dress for herself? They hemmed and hawed and finally said,"But you look soooo different recently!". Still doesn't explain why they assumed that dressing differently (and better) equals having a boyfriend. And I think they didn't believe me when I told them that I was just going out with family. Lol..

What do YOU think? If you see someone suddenly dressing up, do you immediately assume he/she is dating someone? If so, why?


Love,
Phy

P/S: I almost wanted to play a prank on them and say,"Yes, he's working here too" and let them wrack their brains till the cows come home on who it might be. Lol!

The Winds Of Change Has Come..

Hello hello...

I have a confession to make. You guys know I love makeup right? You've seen me haul makeup goodies every month (almost) without fail (check out my August beauty haul here). Recently however, things have been a bit lackluster on the beauty front for reasons unknown to even myself. I have a lot of ideas for posts but I just can't seem to type and when I do, the words seem insincere when in fact I didn't mean for it to be that way.

As you might have noticed, I have been posting about being plus-size, working my way towards accepting and loving myself regardless. Part of that process includes me honoring my body by taking an interest in how I dress. Experimenting with what works and what doesn't has been a really enlightening and enjoyable experience for me. The more I dress myself up, the more I like what I see and my confidence is building up. I feel great!

Here are some of my looks for the day this week. For live outfit updates, follow me on Instagram.

Oh, this is my favorite outfit. Safari Chic! 

My usual ensemble, spiced up with accessories. Loving that owl ring and robot necklace. 

 Gone tribal. This is actually a sleeveless dress. I added a black inner shirt for decency sake at the work place.

 I feel that this green sweater top has a vintage shape to it. It just says 'Old School Nancy Drew' to me.

I have never worn a midi dress to work EVER. I'm glad I took the plunge though. I love this look. Dare I say Jackie O.?

With that being said, I think it's time to make a few changes at phylliciarobert.blogspot.com. Beauty is something that will always be dear to me and I'm not about to stop talking about it all together. I will simply be focusing more on plus size matters. From now on, you can expect plus size fashion posts called Outfit Du Jour, rants experiences and musings of me on a journey towards achieving Body Positivity and lots more. I'm no fashion expert but hey, what I wear might just inspire you to try something different. If you are just as clueless as I am, we'll figure it out together. It will be fun!

Life posts are still on of course. I am planning to incorporate parenting posts as well. Not sure yet how that will go. It will be interesting to see how that develop though. Aaanywaaaays, the reason for this post is just to give you guys a heads up before going all out at making the changes mentioned above. Wouldn't want you to get confused at the sudden change in direction of this blog. Hehe.. :)

Have you ever had a change of heart when it comes to your interests? Do share in the comments section below. Toodles!


Love,
Phy

Plus Size Prattle - "You're Gonna Eat All Of That?"

Hello dearies..

Last week one of the kitchen staff brought Curry Puffs and Pulut Panggang (local kuehs) to sell. They were sold RM1 for 3 each so I bough RM2 of both kuehs to have later with my family and RM1 of each for my staff working the afternoon shift. After tasting 1 of both kuehs, I thought that the Curry Puffs were really good and knowing that my mum liked them, I decided to buy RM1 more. I figured if we couldn't finish them up, we could always have the rest for breakfast the next day.

I went down to buy said extras and I noticed 2 of the staff in that office looking at me, smirking. They had already commented on my sizable initial purchase, to which I (regretfully) felt the need to explain that I was not buying them all for myself but for others as well. I felt my face getting warm because I knew they were probably thinking,"Hmph, as if we don't know it's all for herself". I pulled back my shoulders and lifted my chin and thought to myself,"It doesn't matter what they think. What's important is who this is really for".

Towards the end of working hours Lilian, one of the clerks, told me that the kuehs are being marked down and was I interested to buy? I was like,"Why not?" (there's always breakfast) I was about to go down to clock out from work when the elevator opened and I saw a staff from my other unit. I was like,"OMG! I've forgotten about her". Yeah, I didn't count her in when I bought the kuehs for the evening shift. I felt so bad that I bought her RM1 of each kuehs. I felt so happy seeing her face light up at the prospect of having them for tea. And no, I didn't buy any for myself the 3rd time around. Just saying.

I was in the car with the engine on when my mum called. They were out of the house and she asked if I had my house keys with me. Unfortunately, I didn't so I decided to hangout with the staff in the lower office to kill time. When I walked in one of the Smirky Sally staff said,"Oh my God have you come to buy more?!" referring to the kuehs. I (again, regretfully) quickly explained my predicament so as not to the thought as the Greedy Chubby Girl From Upstairs. "Oh, I thought you came back to buy more" she said smiling like a Cheshire cat. "That would be too much", I said trying to laugh it off but for some reason, I feel ashamed which was silly because it wasn't like I was the one making bad assumptions about other people.

I guess I was embarrassed to be thought as greedy. This was not the first time I was judged as such. I've been to a Bazaar where I was buying food for my friends when the hawker said,"Wow, so many! You're gonna eat all of that?" and grinned meaningfully, displaying a row of rotten teeth. It's an unfair assessment that when a big girl buys lots of food, she's greedy and it's all for herself. If a skinny girl bought tons of food I know that people' would have IMMEDIATELY assumed that she's buying for others as well. How ridiculous is that?

Have you ever face with this prejudice? Do share your experience in the comments section below.

I laughed last with this delicious tea of Curry Puffs and ABC.

Love,
Phy

Plus Size Prattle: My Dysfunctional Relationship With Clothes

Hello there..

For as far as I can remember, I've almost never walked into a clothes shop feeling confident that I would find clothes that fit me. Yup, not even at my thinnest. Looking back, I realized that it was a simple matter of the clothes not being suitable for my body type. I didn't know that then of course, I just thought that I was fat.

The clothes sold in my hometown were mostly from China, where people had small body frames. I could always fit clothes at the waist but not the bust area. Button-up shirts were a joke. If I took a smaller size I'd have unsightly gaping holes between the buttons. If I took a size bigger to accommodate my boobs, I end up looking like 'Ah Soh's grandmother'.

Jeans were no better. My waist was 25" and my hips were 36". Big difference. There were no Low-rise jeans back then and the only style available (at least at the stores in my hometown) were semi-high waist.Whatever that could fit my booty would leave a huge gape on my lower back which just looked plain fugly to say the least.

Unsurprisingly I disliked clothes shopping. When I actually gained weight, I HATED clothes shopping. I avoided buying clothes like the Plague. When I absolutely have to like for Christmas, I would usually be reduced to tears because I couldn't find anything to that fits me without making me look like a 40 year-old.

When I was working in Putrajaya I had access to Nichii, a hip clothing store. I LOOOVVVEEE Nichii to bits. They had a lot of styles that flatter plus-sized ladies, the material of their garments are comfortable and durable, it's not too pricey and they always have XL sizes of a particular style on the racks. They also seem to have something new every week! I kid you not! That was the time when I actually dressed up, the 10% from my whole lifetime that I knew I would walk out of a clothes store with a purchase every.single.time.

I came back to Sabah in 2010. DISASTER. The Nichii in KK is hopeless, carrying limited (not to mention unflattering) styles which stops at L size AND I swear some of the items stay on the rack for nearly a full year. Other shops that carry plus size are mostly horrendously expensive while impressively managing to look cheap at the same time. Me starting to gain more weight didn't help matters either.

Then I moved back to my hometown 2 1/2 years ago. DOUBLE DISASTER. Although we have lots of new buildings and clothing stores now, the clothes are STILL mostly from China *face palm*. After one too many frustrating episodes in the changing room, insecurity reared it's ugly head again. I decided not to care anymore because if I do, it would hurt too much. I just viewed clothing as something I put on in order not to walk around naked.

After discovering plus-sized fashion and style blogs recently however, my views on my body and clothes as well as fashion has changed a little. Seeing these women push the boundaries of fashion with fabulosity and sass is very inspiring. I especially love it when they show the clothes they tried on in the fitting rooms and give their impressions on them. It really helped me to realize that clothes should fit ME and not the other way around. If something doesn't fit, it's okay. Just move on to the next one.

With this in mind I have started to take more care and consideration with the way I dress instead of just pulling things from hangers randomly (preferably, something that does not need to be ironed). Since I haven't been giving two hoot about the way I dressed the past few years, I have very limited amount of clothes and even lesser amount of shoes. Hence, I started to play with accessories to (hopefully) change the look and feel of the outfits each time.

Here are some Outfit Of The Day (OOTD) photos from the past week:

 My baju kurung top has a bright and busy pattern on it so I kept it simple with just adding bangles and pinning a brooch in my hair bun to keep it classy.

I chose a wooden bead necklace to go with my Batik print top. I also stringed a pearl bracelet in my hair bun. By the way, just how cute is my owl ring?

 One of my fave tops from Nichii. I did my hair in a braided bun and added a thin mint green headband for a fun twist while anchoring the whole look with a black blazer.

Pretty laid back in this ensemble. Wore a red camera necklace with it for a 'cool' vibe.

I ain't no fashionista by far but I just feel the need to dress up more than usual. In a way, I think that by doing so, I am giving my body the attention and acknowledgement that it deserves. It's funny because now I already have a few outfits planned for next week and it's only Saturday. For someone who almost never plans her outfits, that's pretty extreme. Lol..

By the way, if you are in need of some inspiration, check the videos out below.

Dressing Room Confidential - Fall Fashion
Dressing Room Confidential - Workwear

What is your style? Is it Romantic or Bohemian? Punk or Classic? Whatever it is, do share in the comments section below. Toodles!



Love,
Phy

Body Positivity: My Mental And Emotional Makeover

Hello there...

Throughout my life my weight had fluctuated quite drastically time and again. I was thin until kindy, when I had a chronic cough and was given cod liver oil. I gained weight and became a chubby chacha kid until I was 10 years old. Lost the weight without even trying when I hit 11 years old and stayed thin effortlessly until 14. Gained a little weight when I was 15 and lost some again when I was 16 when I moved into boarding school. Then I discovered that I had problems with my thyroid which contributed to my weight gain in 2013.

That's when the nightmare started. Relatives and teachers started to call me out on my weight. One teacher in particular always puffing out his cheeks at me while bending his elbows out from his body, indicating that I was fat (in actual fact, he was quite big himself and his daughter was no slender swan either. Cis!). Because of all this, I truly, truly believed that I was fat.

I seriously gained weight during the holidays after SPM. I was depressed and heavily (pardon the pun) embarrassed by my less than stellar SPM results, I was always moody because of my Thyroid and I was sad because of my weight. So I ate my sorrows away. Bad idea.

By the time I entered Matriculation together with my friends from boarding school and former high school, EVERYONE was shocked my physique. Of course they gasped and pointed and commented on it. I felt like running away. I became a recluse, avoiding most of my friends because I didn't want to see the bewilderment and pity in their eyes.

I continued to lose and gain weight throughout the years due to new environments and stresses of study and work but I never hit below 66kgs. The heaviest I had ever been was back in early 2013, at 80kgs. Now I am 77kgs. Relatives, friends and even strangers seemed to think that it was alright to commented on my weight, never mind that they were no Giselle Bundchen themselves.

When I look back at the old photos of me especially that time I was in form 5 where all the comments and fat teasing started, I realised that I wasn't fat at all. AT ALL! Yet back then I remembered being all upset and bitter over the thoughtless talks of others. I let them believe that I was huge. It makes me so upset when I think about it now. Imagine, I told myself since I was 17 that I would be happy once I get to my ideal weight of 55kgs but I never did. That means that I have been unhappy and upset with myself for the past 11 years of my life. What a waste!

Recently I have discovered a lot of blogs written by plus-sized women talking about body positivity. About being in the now and accepting, even loving, one's body regardless of it's size. Thanks to these blogs, I've started to regard myself differently now. I know that recovering from self-loathing will take some time and it cannot happen overnight although I wish it could.

This is not to say that I will not continue to exercise and eat right in order to lose weight. That ideal weight of 55kgs is still waiting for me (but if I hit 60kg pun okay juga bah. Hehe..). However, I want to love myself and my body NOW regardless of my size because I know I deserve that love and I am more than just my size.

To those out there who are still harboring self-loathing over your weight, I understand how you feel. Do check out the links below to body positivity blogs. I hope it helps you as it has started to help me. Let's go a journey to recover what we've lost all this while, our self-respect and confidence. In shaa Allah, Amin,

Fashion, Love and Martinis
Plus Size Princess
A Must-see Video! - Take time to watch this, it's worth every single minute of your time. In shaa Allah.



Love,
Phy

August Haul: Makeup Removers, Lippies and Glitter..

Hello hello dearies!

I had such an abundance of Rizqi with beauty products last month from freebies to passed on items and ones that I bought myself. Hence a haul post is inevitable. Hehehe.. Let's start according to the chronology of acquisition shall we?

About a month ago, I discovered Celeste Choo's blog where she posted about Neutrogena's Deep Clean Blackhead Eliminating Daily Scrub. I commented on that post and she generously offered to send me a deluxe sample of Neutrogena Hydro Boost SPF Gel and a piece of their Deep Clean Hydrating Mask. Isn't she the sweetest?

Yay, new products to try! \(^o^)/

In case you haven't noticed with my previous hauls (check it out here and here), they always seem to have a 'theme'. For example I'd buy a bajillion sheet masks in one month and then the next month I'd buy dozens of lippies at a time. Okay, I'm being dramatic but you know what I mean.

This time around, the 'theme' is makeup removers. My fave which is from the brand Pixy was on it's last leg so I got one to replenish. Then I saw that Nivea has come out with a makeup removing mud cleanser, so that went into my basket. At the last minute I saw that Watsons had a deal where with a purchase of RM20 and above, I could buy Silkygirl's Gel Makeup Remover (which I had been eyeing for months) at 30% discount. Er, so I did. Ngeee... I was given a Vaseline makeup pouch, a Rexona roll-on and a Nuteen cleanser (both deluxe size samples) for free. How cool is that?

Also bought 2 lippies and a breath spray.

The freebies...

Product List (prices are after 10% discount):

1. Ultra Fresh Breath Spray (Price N/A)

2. Silkygirl Pure Fresh All-in-One Gel Makeup Remover for face, eyes & lips (RM15.90)

3. Pixy Gentle & Moist  Cleansing Lotion (RM11.82)

4. Silkygirl Moisture Boost Lipcolor Balm in Coral (RM17.01)

5. Maybelline ColorSensational Pink Alert in POW3 (RM26.91)

6. Nivea Extra White Make Up Clear 3in1 Mud (RM13.52)

7. Free items: NuTeen Oil Away Cool Cleanser (30g), Rexona Women Anti-Perspirant Deodorant (Shower Clean scent) (15ml) and Vaseline Cosmetics Pouch (Pink).

I made a 2nd trip to Watsons and added 2 more lip products, a sheet mask from Watson and an acne patch from Miacare that I've heard so many good things about. Didn't get any freebies this time but that's okay.. :)

Round 2.. ;)

Product List:
1. MiaCare Acne Patch for Night (Price N/A)
2. Watson Milk Smoothing & Whitening Facial Mask (Price N/A)
3. Silkygirl Moisture Boost Lipcolor Balm in Rose (RM17.01)
4. Maybelline ColorSensational Pink Alert in POW4 (RM26.91)

My sister passed some of her fab stuff to me and I am over the moon! There's The Face Shop Volcanic Clay Blackhead Scrub Gel Oil, 3 Victoria Secret underwear and several sheet masks from My Beauty Diary as well as The Face Shop. She also gave me a body scrub from L'Occitane's Almond range (Delicious Paste) which was very timely since I just finished my Vineyard Peach body scrub from The Body Shop. Whoopee!

Love, love, love!

I have been into crafting the past month and so I got a few things that I feel would make a nice addition to my limited collection of glitters and stuff. They are all so cheap and the quality is pretty good for 80% of the items. I got a mixing palette for mixing lipstick colors (okay, this is not for my craft I know), glitter glues, loose glitter, heart-shaped post-its and color pencils (not happy with the color pencils' quality though).



So that's all that I got for the month of August guys. Alhamdulillah for the Rizqi. Did you buy anything beauty or craft related last month? If you did then share in the comments section below. Toodles!



Love,
Phy