Plus Size Prattle - "You're Gonna Eat All Of That?"

Hello dearies..

Last week one of the kitchen staff brought Curry Puffs and Pulut Panggang (local kuehs) to sell. They were sold RM1 for 3 each so I bough RM2 of both kuehs to have later with my family and RM1 of each for my staff working the afternoon shift. After tasting 1 of both kuehs, I thought that the Curry Puffs were really good and knowing that my mum liked them, I decided to buy RM1 more. I figured if we couldn't finish them up, we could always have the rest for breakfast the next day.

I went down to buy said extras and I noticed 2 of the staff in that office looking at me, smirking. They had already commented on my sizable initial purchase, to which I (regretfully) felt the need to explain that I was not buying them all for myself but for others as well. I felt my face getting warm because I knew they were probably thinking,"Hmph, as if we don't know it's all for herself". I pulled back my shoulders and lifted my chin and thought to myself,"It doesn't matter what they think. What's important is who this is really for".

Towards the end of working hours Lilian, one of the clerks, told me that the kuehs are being marked down and was I interested to buy? I was like,"Why not?" (there's always breakfast) I was about to go down to clock out from work when the elevator opened and I saw a staff from my other unit. I was like,"OMG! I've forgotten about her". Yeah, I didn't count her in when I bought the kuehs for the evening shift. I felt so bad that I bought her RM1 of each kuehs. I felt so happy seeing her face light up at the prospect of having them for tea. And no, I didn't buy any for myself the 3rd time around. Just saying.

I was in the car with the engine on when my mum called. They were out of the house and she asked if I had my house keys with me. Unfortunately, I didn't so I decided to hangout with the staff in the lower office to kill time. When I walked in one of the Smirky Sally staff said,"Oh my God have you come to buy more?!" referring to the kuehs. I (again, regretfully) quickly explained my predicament so as not to the thought as the Greedy Chubby Girl From Upstairs. "Oh, I thought you came back to buy more" she said smiling like a Cheshire cat. "That would be too much", I said trying to laugh it off but for some reason, I feel ashamed which was silly because it wasn't like I was the one making bad assumptions about other people.

I guess I was embarrassed to be thought as greedy. This was not the first time I was judged as such. I've been to a Bazaar where I was buying food for my friends when the hawker said,"Wow, so many! You're gonna eat all of that?" and grinned meaningfully, displaying a row of rotten teeth. It's an unfair assessment that when a big girl buys lots of food, she's greedy and it's all for herself. If a skinny girl bought tons of food I know that people' would have IMMEDIATELY assumed that she's buying for others as well. How ridiculous is that?

Have you ever face with this prejudice? Do share your experience in the comments section below.

I laughed last with this delicious tea of Curry Puffs and ABC.

Love,
Phy

Plus Size Prattle: My Dysfunctional Relationship With Clothes

Hello there..

For as far as I can remember, I've almost never walked into a clothes shop feeling confident that I would find clothes that fit me. Yup, not even at my thinnest. Looking back, I realized that it was a simple matter of the clothes not being suitable for my body type. I didn't know that then of course, I just thought that I was fat.

The clothes sold in my hometown were mostly from China, where people had small body frames. I could always fit clothes at the waist but not the bust area. Button-up shirts were a joke. If I took a smaller size I'd have unsightly gaping holes between the buttons. If I took a size bigger to accommodate my boobs, I end up looking like 'Ah Soh's grandmother'.

Jeans were no better. My waist was 25" and my hips were 36". Big difference. There were no Low-rise jeans back then and the only style available (at least at the stores in my hometown) were semi-high waist.Whatever that could fit my booty would leave a huge gape on my lower back which just looked plain fugly to say the least.

Unsurprisingly I disliked clothes shopping. When I actually gained weight, I HATED clothes shopping. I avoided buying clothes like the Plague. When I absolutely have to like for Christmas, I would usually be reduced to tears because I couldn't find anything to that fits me without making me look like a 40 year-old.

When I was working in Putrajaya I had access to Nichii, a hip clothing store. I LOOOVVVEEE Nichii to bits. They had a lot of styles that flatter plus-sized ladies, the material of their garments are comfortable and durable, it's not too pricey and they always have XL sizes of a particular style on the racks. They also seem to have something new every week! I kid you not! That was the time when I actually dressed up, the 10% from my whole lifetime that I knew I would walk out of a clothes store with a purchase every.single.time.

I came back to Sabah in 2010. DISASTER. The Nichii in KK is hopeless, carrying limited (not to mention unflattering) styles which stops at L size AND I swear some of the items stay on the rack for nearly a full year. Other shops that carry plus size are mostly horrendously expensive while impressively managing to look cheap at the same time. Me starting to gain more weight didn't help matters either.

Then I moved back to my hometown 2 1/2 years ago. DOUBLE DISASTER. Although we have lots of new buildings and clothing stores now, the clothes are STILL mostly from China *face palm*. After one too many frustrating episodes in the changing room, insecurity reared it's ugly head again. I decided not to care anymore because if I do, it would hurt too much. I just viewed clothing as something I put on in order not to walk around naked.

After discovering plus-sized fashion and style blogs recently however, my views on my body and clothes as well as fashion has changed a little. Seeing these women push the boundaries of fashion with fabulosity and sass is very inspiring. I especially love it when they show the clothes they tried on in the fitting rooms and give their impressions on them. It really helped me to realize that clothes should fit ME and not the other way around. If something doesn't fit, it's okay. Just move on to the next one.

With this in mind I have started to take more care and consideration with the way I dress instead of just pulling things from hangers randomly (preferably, something that does not need to be ironed). Since I haven't been giving two hoot about the way I dressed the past few years, I have very limited amount of clothes and even lesser amount of shoes. Hence, I started to play with accessories to (hopefully) change the look and feel of the outfits each time.

Here are some Outfit Of The Day (OOTD) photos from the past week:

 My baju kurung top has a bright and busy pattern on it so I kept it simple with just adding bangles and pinning a brooch in my hair bun to keep it classy.

I chose a wooden bead necklace to go with my Batik print top. I also stringed a pearl bracelet in my hair bun. By the way, just how cute is my owl ring?

 One of my fave tops from Nichii. I did my hair in a braided bun and added a thin mint green headband for a fun twist while anchoring the whole look with a black blazer.

Pretty laid back in this ensemble. Wore a red camera necklace with it for a 'cool' vibe.

I ain't no fashionista by far but I just feel the need to dress up more than usual. In a way, I think that by doing so, I am giving my body the attention and acknowledgement that it deserves. It's funny because now I already have a few outfits planned for next week and it's only Saturday. For someone who almost never plans her outfits, that's pretty extreme. Lol..

By the way, if you are in need of some inspiration, check the videos out below.

Dressing Room Confidential - Fall Fashion
Dressing Room Confidential - Workwear

What is your style? Is it Romantic or Bohemian? Punk or Classic? Whatever it is, do share in the comments section below. Toodles!



Love,
Phy

Body Positivity: My Mental And Emotional Makeover

Hello there...

Throughout my life my weight had fluctuated quite drastically time and again. I was thin until kindy, when I had a chronic cough and was given cod liver oil. I gained weight and became a chubby chacha kid until I was 10 years old. Lost the weight without even trying when I hit 11 years old and stayed thin effortlessly until 14. Gained a little weight when I was 15 and lost some again when I was 16 when I moved into boarding school. Then I discovered that I had problems with my thyroid which contributed to my weight gain in 2013.

That's when the nightmare started. Relatives and teachers started to call me out on my weight. One teacher in particular always puffing out his cheeks at me while bending his elbows out from his body, indicating that I was fat (in actual fact, he was quite big himself and his daughter was no slender swan either. Cis!). Because of all this, I truly, truly believed that I was fat.

I seriously gained weight during the holidays after SPM. I was depressed and heavily (pardon the pun) embarrassed by my less than stellar SPM results, I was always moody because of my Thyroid and I was sad because of my weight. So I ate my sorrows away. Bad idea.

By the time I entered Matriculation together with my friends from boarding school and former high school, EVERYONE was shocked my physique. Of course they gasped and pointed and commented on it. I felt like running away. I became a recluse, avoiding most of my friends because I didn't want to see the bewilderment and pity in their eyes.

I continued to lose and gain weight throughout the years due to new environments and stresses of study and work but I never hit below 66kgs. The heaviest I had ever been was back in early 2013, at 80kgs. Now I am 77kgs. Relatives, friends and even strangers seemed to think that it was alright to commented on my weight, never mind that they were no Giselle Bundchen themselves.

When I look back at the old photos of me especially that time I was in form 5 where all the comments and fat teasing started, I realised that I wasn't fat at all. AT ALL! Yet back then I remembered being all upset and bitter over the thoughtless talks of others. I let them believe that I was huge. It makes me so upset when I think about it now. Imagine, I told myself since I was 17 that I would be happy once I get to my ideal weight of 55kgs but I never did. That means that I have been unhappy and upset with myself for the past 11 years of my life. What a waste!

Recently I have discovered a lot of blogs written by plus-sized women talking about body positivity. About being in the now and accepting, even loving, one's body regardless of it's size. Thanks to these blogs, I've started to regard myself differently now. I know that recovering from self-loathing will take some time and it cannot happen overnight although I wish it could.

This is not to say that I will not continue to exercise and eat right in order to lose weight. That ideal weight of 55kgs is still waiting for me (but if I hit 60kg pun okay juga bah. Hehe..). However, I want to love myself and my body NOW regardless of my size because I know I deserve that love and I am more than just my size.

To those out there who are still harboring self-loathing over your weight, I understand how you feel. Do check out the links below to body positivity blogs. I hope it helps you as it has started to help me. Let's go a journey to recover what we've lost all this while, our self-respect and confidence. In shaa Allah, Amin,

Fashion, Love and Martinis
Plus Size Princess
A Must-see Video! - Take time to watch this, it's worth every single minute of your time. In shaa Allah.



Love,
Phy

August Haul: Makeup Removers, Lippies and Glitter..

Hello hello dearies!

I had such an abundance of Rizqi with beauty products last month from freebies to passed on items and ones that I bought myself. Hence a haul post is inevitable. Hehehe.. Let's start according to the chronology of acquisition shall we?

About a month ago, I discovered Celeste Choo's blog where she posted about Neutrogena's Deep Clean Blackhead Eliminating Daily Scrub. I commented on that post and she generously offered to send me a deluxe sample of Neutrogena Hydro Boost SPF Gel and a piece of their Deep Clean Hydrating Mask. Isn't she the sweetest?

Yay, new products to try! \(^o^)/

In case you haven't noticed with my previous hauls (check it out here and here), they always seem to have a 'theme'. For example I'd buy a bajillion sheet masks in one month and then the next month I'd buy dozens of lippies at a time. Okay, I'm being dramatic but you know what I mean.

This time around, the 'theme' is makeup removers. My fave which is from the brand Pixy was on it's last leg so I got one to replenish. Then I saw that Nivea has come out with a makeup removing mud cleanser, so that went into my basket. At the last minute I saw that Watsons had a deal where with a purchase of RM20 and above, I could buy Silkygirl's Gel Makeup Remover (which I had been eyeing for months) at 30% discount. Er, so I did. Ngeee... I was given a Vaseline makeup pouch, a Rexona roll-on and a Nuteen cleanser (both deluxe size samples) for free. How cool is that?

Also bought 2 lippies and a breath spray.

The freebies...

Product List (prices are after 10% discount):

1. Ultra Fresh Breath Spray (Price N/A)

2. Silkygirl Pure Fresh All-in-One Gel Makeup Remover for face, eyes & lips (RM15.90)

3. Pixy Gentle & Moist  Cleansing Lotion (RM11.82)

4. Silkygirl Moisture Boost Lipcolor Balm in Coral (RM17.01)

5. Maybelline ColorSensational Pink Alert in POW3 (RM26.91)

6. Nivea Extra White Make Up Clear 3in1 Mud (RM13.52)

7. Free items: NuTeen Oil Away Cool Cleanser (30g), Rexona Women Anti-Perspirant Deodorant (Shower Clean scent) (15ml) and Vaseline Cosmetics Pouch (Pink).

I made a 2nd trip to Watsons and added 2 more lip products, a sheet mask from Watson and an acne patch from Miacare that I've heard so many good things about. Didn't get any freebies this time but that's okay.. :)

Round 2.. ;)

Product List:
1. MiaCare Acne Patch for Night (Price N/A)
2. Watson Milk Smoothing & Whitening Facial Mask (Price N/A)
3. Silkygirl Moisture Boost Lipcolor Balm in Rose (RM17.01)
4. Maybelline ColorSensational Pink Alert in POW4 (RM26.91)

My sister passed some of her fab stuff to me and I am over the moon! There's The Face Shop Volcanic Clay Blackhead Scrub Gel Oil, 3 Victoria Secret underwear and several sheet masks from My Beauty Diary as well as The Face Shop. She also gave me a body scrub from L'Occitane's Almond range (Delicious Paste) which was very timely since I just finished my Vineyard Peach body scrub from The Body Shop. Whoopee!

Love, love, love!

I have been into crafting the past month and so I got a few things that I feel would make a nice addition to my limited collection of glitters and stuff. They are all so cheap and the quality is pretty good for 80% of the items. I got a mixing palette for mixing lipstick colors (okay, this is not for my craft I know), glitter glues, loose glitter, heart-shaped post-its and color pencils (not happy with the color pencils' quality though).



So that's all that I got for the month of August guys. Alhamdulillah for the Rizqi. Did you buy anything beauty or craft related last month? If you did then share in the comments section below. Toodles!



Love,
Phy

First Experience: Making Nasi Lemak

Aloha dearies!

2 days ago I was hit by a sudden need to have Nasi Lemak for lunch. It got me thinking how nice it would be to know how to make it myself. As long as I have the ingredients, I could make it at any time (oh-so-dangerous for my waistline!). And so I scoured the Internet on how to make Nasi Lemak with the help of my trusty sidekick, Mr. Google. At last, I found 2 versions that I felt was easy enough to follow.

The result?

Tadaaa!!!! I cooked everything myself except for the fried peanuts. My dad did that while I was a work.

I am so happy it worked out well! The rice was fragrant and tasty even though I just used instant coconut milk. The sambal wasn't bad either but I had to add some sugar to give some dimension to it's taste. My dad even gave his stamp of approval! I am feeling very grown up and proud of myself at the moment. Lol!

There's just something so satisfying about eating something you created yourself, especially if you thought that it was way too difficult all this while.

The best part of knowing how to do this is that I could customize it according to my liking. Mau lebih sambal kah, lebih bilis kah, I'm in control. Best kan? Since I find that sambal needs some work I won't be posting the recipe today. Will post it up once I've found my 'magic blend' so to speak.

That's all for now dearies... What's your favorite food? Have you learnt how to make it?



Love,
Phy

Dainty Pearls: 'Rat-bitten' Hair Cut, Me Time & A Car Accident

Assalamualaikum..

Another Dainty Pearls post is here! Whew, the past 2 weeks had been a real whirlwind for me guys. I'll be honest, it's not so much of the physical business that was tiring me, but more of the emotional side of things. You'll know what I mean in a bit. Without further ado let's get on to the the topics of discussion today shall we?

1. An upstanding member of our community passed away over a week ago. You can read my tribute to him here. His death made me think about where my life is headed and question myself if I am doing enough to fulfill my purpose in life.

2. I was so out of sorts last week that I lost concentration while driving and rammed  the side of the family car against a steel gate. A hardy as Bessie The Old Car was, the accident left an ugly indentation on one of the doors as well as the paint being scratched and peeled in certain places. Teruk oh. I feel so bad about it.

3. Sophie's hair was growing out and 'crowding her face'. We tried tying her hair but she didn't like that very much so my mum decided to cut her hair. It is normal for her to put up some resistance but usually she could be distracted long enough for my mum to complete the task. This time however she could not be 'tricked'.

After my mum cut the first chunk of hair at the back, nothing could distract her enough for my mum to balance out the cut. She has now ended up with a bob that looks Victoria Beckham-esque from the front and 'rat-bitten' from the back. Sigh... Tell me, do you have much trouble getting your child's hair trimmed?

4. I have been craving some 'Me' time lately. It just frustrates me that I have so little time to do what I love. I miss KK; the food, the sights, sounds, smell and the excitement in general. There is always some cool event and activities being held every week. I need a break from the daily grind and just get in tune with myself.

Thank goodness recently I have rediscovered the 'creative' side of me. Makes me remember my high school days when we had to make folios as assignment for various subjects. It has really been helping me to release some of the stress, Alhamdulillah.

 Bought some 'artsy' stuff recently.. And an unfinished doodle..

One of my creations - ribbon decor for pressies..

5. I had the opportunity to re-arrange my makeup last Sunday and I am so happy. It is not perfect by any means but at least everything is positioned to be in easy reach especially my face products. This is important for me because I usually start my makeup with face base and work my way to the eyes, cheeks and lips. If I can't get to my face makeup products easily then I tend to just skip putting on makeup altogether.

Foundations, BB and CC creams..

Face primers, powders and concealers in the 2nd tier.

My biggest nightmare to organize would have to be my lip products. It's mind boggling to see so many lippies and glosses all at once. In the end I decided to just separate them by high-end and low-end then group the 2 lower-end brands I have the most products of together (which is Revlon and Maybelline by the way) while the rest go to a separate pile. I used 3 biscuit plastic trays with a separator for this. Lastly but not least, for each tray I put lippies in 1 section and glosses on the other. Again, it needs some work but I'm quite happy at the moment because it is sooo much better than before.

6. I have been obsessed with eating chopped birds-eye chillis + lime juice with my lunch and dinner lately. It goes really, really well with fish and isn't bad at all with chicken. It's just heaven really. Hehe.. Under different circumstances, with such cravings I'd have thought that I was preggers. Hehehe..

The most perfect combo in this world when it comes to bird's-eye chili and lime

Maggi Goreng Ayam is a 2nd fave of mine with chili and lime. Heaven!

So that's what has been going on in my life. How about you, did anything significant happened lately? Do share in the comments section below. Toodles!




Love,
Phy

Finally, A Facebook 'Like' Box On My Blog!

Hello all!

I had been wanting to put a Facebook 'Like' box on my sidebar for literally years. I have tried several times but always get confused on the process and would give up. Tonight  I decided to give it another whirl and searched for a how to vid on this topic. The first one was too complicated, just like the rest I've ever watched.

As I love my blog too much to take the risk of coding gone extremely wrong, I decided to watch another video and have found the solution that I have been waiting for! It's so, so simple peeps. Whether you're a newbie or been blogging for some time, I think this video will come in very handy for you if you want to put up a Facebook 'Like' box on your blog on Blogger platform.

I am so, so happy I found this video!

Have an awesome weekend peeps!

Love, 

Phy