Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Hello peeps..
A few friends of mine have recently gone through very rough breakups. Some have been together for years while one was engaged. It made me reminiscent on my own breakup that occurred over 2 years ago. Here are just a short list of what those in the throes of heartbreak would be experiencing:

-Pain in the chest.
-Inability to breathe, sleep, eat or function
-Short temper
-Unable to focus *stares into space*
-Has the sudden urge to cry at all times *even at the most inappropriate moments such as during an office meeting*
-Has the uncontrollable desire to stalk ex *think Facebook, Twitter, etc. May drive past ex's home several times a day*
-Calls ex hysterically begging for reconciliation/calling ex then hanging up when he or she answers *they would do this even if they have to use a public phone in a dingy part of town*
-Has an affinity to sad songs of love lost *or angry songs of love lost*
-Does not care about their appearance *stringy hair, oily face, draggy clothes and zero makeup*
-Vows revenge, either by attacking him/her physically or psychologically
-Vows to make him/her regret by losing weight/buffing up or having a new love interest of their own
-Displays unusual behavior *learns to smoke, drink and may even have a one night stand*
-Feel like jumping off a tall building *"I feel dead inside, I might as well die!"*


Yes ladies and gentlemen, heartbreak is always ugly especially during what I personally call 'The Crash And Burn Period' which is the initial 2 weeks after The Breakup. While nothing might seem to matter anymore, how you handle your grief is very important to speed up the healing process of your heart. Here are some Dos and Don'ts during your grieving period:

Do:
-Tell someone you trust about the breakup. Talk it through. It will take a few sessions *and hours long at a time* so before launching into your tirade, ask your friend's permission first as they might be in the middle of something important.
-Take care of your appearance. A bit of concealer, gloss and blush works wonders. Take care of your personal hygiene too.
-Cry. Pick your moments and limit it to 3 good bawling sessions a day.
-Keep a journal. Pour your heart and soul into it.
-Find relieve in a positive and safe manner. Go for movie marathons, sing your heart out at K-Boxes, go for a run *believe me, a run works wonders and will help you sleep better at night*
-Remove your ex from your Facebook friend list/Block him or her/deactivate your account.
-Delete his/her photos and the ones you took together. It's harsh but in this case it is best to go cold turkey.
-Pray. Seriously. Cry, and ask for comfort. Only God can really help lessen the pain.

Don't:
-Call your ex. Whether it's because you want him/her to consider reconciliation, to demand an explanation or just to hear his/her voice, it is never a good idea, period. This includes calling him/her then hanging up when the call is answered.
-Stalk your ex on any social network that he might be on or his home. Common, what would you gain? Nothing but heartache, especially if the reason for your relationship's demise is a third person. Do you seriously want to see their happy pics together? I don't think so.
-You may be tempted to talk about your breakup to all and sundry, from your local grocers lady to the security guard at your bank of choice but it's best not to. You will only look back and feel embarrassed.
-Listen to sad songs. It will make you feel worse.
-Display erratic behavior such as drinking or smoking especially if it's not something that you usually do. It won't get your ex's attention. Even if it does, it will only invoke disgust on his or her part.
-Engage one night stands. You only end up hurting yourself.

I am no expert on matters of the heart but experience did teach me a thing or two. I hope this post comes in handy for those out there who had just had their heart broken. Know that you are not alone and most importantly, YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS, it WILL get better and you WILL find a better partner in the future. I promise with my pinky finger. ^^

Wassalam..

Lots of love,
Phoebe