My First Experience: Massage At A Spa

Hi all..
I have always wanted to have a spa experience. Get a massage, a facial, foot scrub, etc. To be honest, it's not difficult to get that spa experience. Lord knows there are enough massage houses that advertise themselves as spas here in KK after all. What actually stopped me from going into any of them is the fear that the masseuse might not be sufficiently trained. Silap haribulan free2 jak terbelit usus. Kan? There's also the hygiene factor of course. Who know what really goes in there right?

When the manager of the spa at the resort extended a generous offer of a free massage to the girls in my department I was thrilled. I am so, so glad I waited. Imagine, first time experience terus at a 5-star resort. Perhaps this is what people say as 'Good things come for those who wait'. I must say although I was excited, I was also worried because I don't know what is going to happen. I've heard for a full body massage, can only wear G-String. Yikes! Since I don't have one, do I go out to buy one? Is it worth it to do so? Can I just use my normal undies instead?

Another thing that concerns me is that I am not really into massages as I am quite ticklish and from experience of shoulder massages at salons, it can be quite a painful experience. It doesn't help that I am not the type to complain, I normally just suffer in silence. If the massage is painful, how lah? Huhuhu.. Dalam takut dan nervous tu, I still went ahead to make an appointment after work. Aparently, I was to be given a 50-minute Balinese body massage.

When the day finally arrived, I was packing my things to get out of the office when I suddenly remembered to my horror that I uh, have not shaved. At first I thought of just winging it through and not caring but the more I think about it, the more I couldn't bear the thought of pulling a Julia Roberts on my poor masseuse to be, so I had no choice but to fork out RM4 for a disposable razor at the hotel shop. Darn it.

The manager greeted me at the entrance of the spa and I was led up the stair to the upper floor. I was seated and given a cold towel scented with peppermint to wipe my face with. Ah, I was feeling pampered already. Next, My masseuse, P, gave me a choice of four aromatherapy blends which are: Mandara Oil, Island Spice Oil, Hamony Oil and unfortunately I forgot the last one *head hangs with shame*. It might be either relaxing or rejuvenating oil though. Anyways, I picked the Harmony Oil which to me smells a bit like a Frangipani flower. The smell was not strong so it didn't overwhelm my senses which was good.

All of the rooms are named after flowers used in aromatherapy. I got the Bergamot room, named after a fruit from the orange family. It is one of the 6 single rooms the spa has. The first thing I saw when I entered the room was the bed and the shower room beyond. P invited me in and when I entered the room I found out that there was more space to the right side of the door. There was a sink, a mirror and a closet. Inside the closet was a robe, a pair of room slippers, a one-lenght sarong and a pair of disposable undies *which I had been worried that it wouldn't fit me, but it did so yay! for that*.

P left me to change but instead of getting right to it I took pictures instead. P came back after 5 minutes. She usai2 the bed, held up a white sheet and asked me to takeoff my sarong and get on the bed. To say that it was awkward was an understatement. I froze and P tried to coax me by saying 'its okay, we're both women and I am married' *to which my thoughts screamed "SO?!"* In the end I did what I needed to do. As I lay on my front I reminded myself that since this opportunity of being pampered in a 5-star hotel's spa doesn't come by very often, I will just embrace the experience whatever and however it might be.

The massage was so relaxing. I especially enjoyed the part when P did my arms, legs and head. The back part was not so nice for me because I was feeling ticklish. Overall,it was good and I will definitely come back to try other treatments such as body scrub and such. P was gentle and respectful and I am sure all the other staff are too. Cukup training la orang bilang kan. The oil used for the massage is a mix of high grade essential oil and carrier oil. I loved the fact that it was a very light texture and didn't leave a greasy feel on my skin at all.

At the end of my massage I chatted with P about the oils, prices and the treatments they have *me in my one length sarong and sorugau hair no less. Lol* P told me not to eat for at least an hour as the massage had made my blood circulate faster so I needed to let it settle first. If I eat it wouldn't be good for my digestive system. I felt very warm after the massage, a sign that my blood was circulating at a higher-than-normal-speed. 

Even though I have only been to a spa once, here are some tips:
- It would be preferable if you could bathe first before you go for a massage. It would be easier for your skin to absorb all the goodness and nourishment from the essential oil when it's clean rather than with a layer of sweat and grime. 
- Make sure you have done all your errand before your spa session do that you can just stay in a relaxed mode after that. Mana best kalo sudah relax2 after a massage baru mo pigi post office bayar bill kan. Hilang segala ketenangan yang ada, kan rugi. 
- Take care of your personal hygiene. Wear clean clothes and  

 

Whatcha Been Doin' Phy?

Dear readers,
I think it has been a while since I have done updates on my life. As usual, there are a lot of things that I want to say but not enough to do a whole post on so I'll just try to put these bits and pieces into a few categories to make updating easier.

Sophia
My mum and Sophia stayed over at my place for a week during the 1st week and she was so manja with me. There were times when she would not want anyone else but me. Aw.. It broke my heart to pieces when I had to leave her that following weekend. My dad held her and when I hugged my dad, Sophie hugged me. Ndamau lepas lagi tu. Adui, hanya Allah jak yang tau dear readers how I wish I didn't have to leave her.

Last weekend when I visited her Sophia buat derk jak when I play with her tapi bila sy limpas jak dia (contohnya dari kamar mandi pigi bilik mo tukar baju) pandai pula dia menangis macam minta my attention. Ni kes jual mahal ni. My mum called me this morning and told me that Sophia pandai say 'Mama' sudah. Actually lama sudah bah tu tapi all these while dia sebut 'Mamamamamamamamaaaaaaa'.Lol.. Ah, Sophia has certainly grown. Lipatan di lengan dia pun kurang dalam sudah cause her arms have lengthened.

She also has a sense of ownership sudah. Kalu dia mau something dia mau la. Kalau dia sudah pegang something (a small box, a rusk, etc.,) and you try to take it away from her, she would grip it really hard/ pull it away from you with an offended sound/scream bloody murder. It can be funny la especially when she puts the object over her head or behind her to hide it but it has its downsides. She also recognizes people so pandai sudah la dia memilih siapa dia mo minta dukung. Mo trick pun susah sudah. Hehehe...

Work
I quite enjoyed myself this week. I started a new task which I enjoyed very much. Reminds me of my days working in the Front Office except with FO you meet new people every hour and every day whereas with this you kind of handle the same group of people during the duration of their stay when they are on the hotel premises.

I have asked myself time and time again why was I given this job. No, not why my boss hired me but why did Allah put me in this job. What am I supposed to learn? Who am I supposed to meet? Now that this new task has started I kind of know the answer. I feel tired but happy. To be honest sy tidak harap betul mo confirm in this job. Bukan apa, boleh nampak sendiri from the way things are heading. Some things are just not working. Whether I get confirmed or not in this job, I leave it in Allah's capable hands. No, bukan lepas tangan tapi I believe rezeki datang dengan usaha dan izin Allah. If I don't get this job meaning there is something better out there for me, InsyaAllah. Amin.

Oh and I just have to say this... I accept the blunt words that was dealt to me this morning with an open heart and mind. It's not as if it is the first time after all but at least this time it is not said publicly. I have made mistakes, that is true. I am still learning after all. What's amazing was that those words did not get me down, it did not break my spirit, it did not strike fear in me. I have Allah to credit for that. Am I being cryptic? Sorry readers, I'm being discreet, not because I have to but because I know that it's the right thing to do.

Beauty Blog
I have a few ideas on posts to do on my beauty blog. Among them are November Empties which will feature what are the beauty products that I have used up in the month of November. I will also do a makeup wish list for the holidays. Stay tuned for that and show some love by following me on that blog as well which is phoebe-loves-makeup.blogspot.com.

Have a great weekend ahead peeps. Cheers!

Love,
Phoebe

Dear readers,
Today I woke up with a heart as heavy as stone.

Workaholic Much? Set Your Priorities Straight

Hi all,

When someone tells you they work until midnight every single night and there are times when they worked even though they are so sick they are practically half-dead, what is the first thing that crosses your mind? Do you think 'Whoa, this person is tough man' or 'Wow, a true blue workaholic' or 'Meh, ya la tu'. Does it impresses you or makes you pity that person?

There are reasons as to why there are 9 working hours in a day and why there is such a thing as medical leave or better known as MC. Tidak salah kerja lebih dari 9 jam but the big question is are you performing? Kalu ya bagus la,but don't expect everyone to be like you. Tidak salah keja walaupun sakit but again, are you performing to the best of your ability? What's the use of sitting at your desk but not being able to think coherently? It only increases the probability of you making mistakes. 

Okay lah, maybe certain people really do need to work long hours and keep on working even though they are sick, BUT I have enough experience to know that such people would not make such a big deal out of it but those who constantly moan about it, well go figure la. Tepuk dada tanya diri ya tuan2 dan puan2 sekalian.

Some people are so dedicated to their job that they tend to forget one most important thing. Do you know what it is? That no one is indispensable, especially in the corporate world. You sacrifice so much for a company, disregarding your family and your health and when the day comes when you are no longer able to perform because of health problems/you make a mistake and screwed up you can bet that you'd be booted out before you know what hit you. What's worse is that when that happens, belum tentu your family mo jaga ko sudah cause they hardly even know you.

Now, I am not being sour grapes because I don't stay back late or work even though I am green at the gills. No, no, no. Cuma priorities tu kalo boleh kena lah betul. Health is important. With good health you can work, when you can work you can get money. Macam juga bila ibu dan anak naik kapal terbang. In an emergency situation when the oxygen masks drop down from the compartments, who needs to wear the mask first? Secara kasar nampak macam mesti kasi pakai anak dulu tapi sebenarnya it is the mother who need to wear the mask first. Ya lah, kalau dia kasi pakai anak dia mask dulu tapi dia conk out gara2 tiada oxygen siapa lah mo urus anak dia? Useless juga kan? 

Moral of the story is set your priorities straight. God over people, family over outsiders, health over money. InsyaAllah. 

So tell me, do you personally know a workaholic?

Love,

Phoebe

Disclaimer: Isu yang dibincangkan di atas tiada kaitan dengan yang hidup mahupun yang sudah meninggal. Kalo ada yang sama pun perasaan ko jak tu. Sekian.

Pregnancy Taboos.

Hi there,
Before I go any further let me just say that everyone has different views on pregnancy taboos. This post is my 2 cents and based on my experience. Okay, so when new mothers finally get over their excitement and horror (believe me, no matter how planned a pregnancy is, you WILL feel at least a teeny tiny bit horrified) and tell their elders (parents, in-laws, etc) they will be bombarded with taboos or what we local call pantang. These taboos vary from the logical to the downright outrageous. Here are some of the ones that I have heard of:

Don't announce your pregnancy to other than those nearest and dearest to you before your pregnancy reaches 3 months.
It is feared that you might miscarry since the fetus is still at a delicate stage ( God forbid). Nanti palis2 keguguran, tekanan perasaan pula bila orang balik2 tanya how is your pregnancy kan?

Don't buy baby clothes until you have passed the 7th month mark.
The reason being almost same as above, takut si ibu depresi dan meroyan bila nampak barang baby sedangkan baby tiada (again, palis2 jauh2).

Don't sew/cut anything with scissors/go fishing
If you do this it is believed that your baby will get a cleft lip.

Don't step half way out the door then go back in.
It is feared that if you do this, you will face difficulty during delivery whereby your baby's head will not be able to come out fully but keep sliding back in.

Don't Tie a Knot
If you do so your umbilical cord would knot around your baby's neck.

Don't look at anything weird/ugly
If you do your baby would resemble whatever it is that you had looked at. We locals call it 'kapaingan'.

There are a lot more but I don't remember all of it. For the new mom's-to-be, I know it's easy to be over-whelmed with these taboos. You want so much to protect your unborn child to the best of your ability that you'd even surprise yourself at how superstitious you can become. Personally, I only accept the first 2, am on the fence about the last one and brush off the rest as old wive's tale. Ya Allah, please don't test me for saying this but I believe that Allah (or God, if you prefer) is the one who determines our Fate and the Fate of an unborn child, not taboos.

About having to wait for your 7th month in order to shop for baby clothes, I feel that when your pregnancy has hit the 5th month you're good to go. Some people wait until the last possible second to buy baby stuff. For me this practice sangat lah auta. Not only would you be more easily tired close to your delivery, you also won't have enough time to buy all the essentials. Memang ada la tu yg terlupa. Also, its going to cost a bomb to buy everything at once.

Basically just take taboos with a large pinch of salt. What's most important is to pray, take care of your health and hygiene as well as your temperament and attitude. Babies can sense your emotions even when they were in the womb. Like it or not, babies tend to have the characteristics their mothers had during pregnancy. Meaning if you acted like Cruella de Vil during pregnancy, you can safely expect a Tasmanian Devil-esque child. I joke, I joke but you get the picture right?

Act like this...

..and get this. Mau? 

What other pregnancy taboos do you know of? Do you believe in them?

Love,
Phoebe

P/S: Give my Facebook Page (Phoebe_Sophie) some love by clicking on the 'Like' button. Thanks and Happy Deepavali to those celebrating.

What Do You Think?

Hi there,

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. One of the reason why I had wanted to work at my current company was because the pay is quite big (double compared to my previous pay actually) and so I could pay off my bills comfortably and save up to get a certificate in makeup artistry. I want to have the choice of working for a company yet be able to work using my skills after office hours for extra income or even just work independently.

Generally there are 2 main ways to be a makeup artist. One is to take lessons and the other is through experience whether by working at a makeup counter or starting from scratch (do makeup for family members and friends, etc and build up your clientele from there). I am considering working at makeup outlets like The Body Shop because I think that by doing so I could kill 2 birds with one stone. First of all I get the training and experience and secondly I get to save up money for lessons. Here are the pro's and con's of working in a makeup retail store:

Pro's:
-Get experience and training of makeup skills.
-Acquire product knowledge and marketing skills.
-If you work hard enough you will get higher pay in the form of commission.
-Some makeup brands offer quite a good basic pay.
-Product allowance to acquire products. Good for me as it would help me sate my need to buy makeup and beauty products since I have to do it anyway.
-Work 5 days a week.
-I can delay taking the makeup lessons if needed because I am already getting on the job training. 

Con's:
-Most makeup stores don't do shifts. It's a whole day basis, e.g. from 10.00am to 10.00pm. However since you have to be there to make sure everything is in place before it opens and have to clean up after the store closes, average working hours would be around 14 hours a day with 2 meal breaks.
-You will have to work on public holidays and on weekends. *Correct me if I'm wrong but if you work on a PH, you will be paid double or triple* 
-You can't work at just one outlet, there would be rotations. If a makeup brand has a lot of outlets you will never know where you would be sent to next week, next month or next year. If you get stuck at an outlet that is far from your home your petrol consumption would sky-rocket.
-Since the working hours are atrocious, I would have to leave Sophie at kampung for a longer time since I won't be able to take care of her. To be honest this is my greatest worry.

My 2nd option is of course to do as I am doing right now. Look for a reputable company with a good pay and save up for lessons. I do have another financial based company that I have applied but yet to give me any feedback.

A MUA friend of mine did however tell me that in this business experience is key. She is now working at one of the higher end makeup brands and she told me that she never had formal training, just working experience from various makeup counters. Another contact I have at another store selling beauty and makeup products said that their brand's senior MUA had no formal training or experience, she joined the company and rose to her current position only through learning from Youtube makeup tutorials. Imagine that.

I do think that it's good to be certified though. Somehow I feel it does make a MUA more credible, gives exposure to various environment such as photo shoot sessions and the place where you learn would help you make a portfolio of your work.

So, would it be better for me to pursue an office job and save up for lessons? Or should I work at a makeup retail shop and get the experience? Share with me what you think ya. Thanks for reading!

Love,
Phoebe

P/S: Give my FB page (Phoebe_Sophie) some love by clicking the 'Like' button. Thanks.

Sayang Seribu Sayang..

Hi there,
Hm, this will be a session of me pouring out my sorrows on the cyberzone again, so if you're not interested in my woes, click the 'x' button. I understand, I really do. Masing2 pun ada masalah sendiri, mo baca pasal masalah orang lain mungkin membebankan. For those who are still reading this, thank you for staying with me. Here goes...

Kemarin kena ckp that I didn't use my brain again. Kiranya dia ckp sy ni bodoh lah kan. Yang lucu tu I was referring to this person for something and this person asked me back 'what do you think you should do?' Now for me la kan if you want to ask this question, you have to be open to stupid (again, stupid is subjective) answers because you have opened the floor for someone to say what they think. If you can't handle 'stupidity' (whatever your definition of it is) then don't ask that person's opinion. When I said my opinion she asked why? When I answered that's when she becomes pissed off and walked out of the conversation saying that I am not using my brain.

Okay, maybe I have the wrong opinion or thinking for this business. As a mentor isn't it your job to try and make me see the light? Bukan maksud sy that I should just sit idly while my mentor does all the thinking, its just that since I don't know that I am looking at a situation all wrong, bagitau la how I should look at a situtation. For example, a deal has already been signed and done weeks ago yet suddenly the person that received the deal wants more. I feel that she/he is being difficult because she/he should have said something about it before the deal was signed. I think that 'Well, the deal is signed so too bad you will have to live with it'. If you feel that is wrong then say la 'You can't think that way, these people are giving us needed exposure. If she is pushing for a better deal then we need to see if we can do something about it'. Don't you think?

While I enjoy going to concerts the company is affiliated with, dining at the outlets at 50% and other staff benefits, I really feel that this job is weighing me down. I am new and unsure. I want to learn but every time I move one tiny step I get pissed on yet if I don't move I get shot down. This job is not difficult actually. I can really enjoy myself if only there is clear guidance on what to do and how to do it instead of half-baked instructions. I know there is no work place that is perfect. Favoritism, colorful personalities, office politics, etc, are all part of the work place. However if there is no professionalism memang paling susah la mo handle especially when you are used as an emotional punching bag. I know lah orang ni banyak keja, tension.  Itu kan sudah keja dia, buat jak lah kan? Yang mo sembur orang lain tu buat apa?

I am seriously thinking of looking for another job. I don't think that I am a weakling for doing this. Sepa la bah yang mo keja sekejap then pindah? Boring bah sy malar jadi orang baru. Malar terpaksa akur dan telan orang punya perangai taik2 sampai kena confirm. My future employer pun nanti hesitant to take me in sebab nda pandai stick to one work place nanti. I had wanted to find a place that I can really stay in and I thought that this was it. Sy berabis mo stay, everyday I try to do better tapi it seems that its not enough. I can really sense that I am not wanted here, like I am just a bother, a mistake of judgement. Tapi itu okay lagi, I can still live with it. What bothers me the most is that I can't improve my work this way, in this kind of environment. I can feel that my confidence is ebbing away. Definitely not good.

Hm, sudah la tu kan? Cakap banyak2 pun sama juga. Taking action is better. Will browse through the papers later. Pray that things will be better for me and that if this is not for me then I will find another, if not better job. InsyaAllah, amin.

Love,
Phoebe

P/S: Have you ever had a job that you hated but are hesitant to leave because of the good pay or perks?

My First Experience Attending A Concert

Hi all,
Last Saturday I attended the hitz.fm Birthday Invasion and it was the first time I had ever been to a concert. Laughable, I know. There I was, a 26 year old mother, surrounded by screaming teens and tweens. Being a quiet person did not help my cause either. I just couldn't find it in me to jump up and down screaming as I'm not an ardent fan of any of the bands. *Not because they were not good, it's just that I haven't really listened to their music. I'm not much of a radio listener after all, I only listen to the hitz.fm Morning Crew on the way to work* The only time I actually cheered was when Natalie (hitz.fm DJ) came on stage. I love it when she does the ads on radio because she is so funny.

I was there for work actually. I had debated whether on not to go because if I didn't I would be able to go back to Keningau and see my Sophie sooner. In the end after a long debate with my concience I decided to go, cause I'm responsible like that. *Feel free to puke, lol* As I was standing there with the flashing lights and kick-a** music, I took in the crowd around me. Most of what I saw were teenage girls holding hands with their boyfies, dramatically winged black eyeliner with bright lips wearing sexy clothes (I think I saw one of them not wearing a bra). All of them were jumping, screaming and pumping their fist to the music.

While the scene around me made me dread the day when Sophie would be old enough to go to a concert, I did try to think of how I would have felt if a teenaged me had the opportunity to go to a concert of my fave band like Backstreet Boys *Don't you DARE snigger at me*, Green Day, Blink 182 or Linkin' Park. Most probably I would have done the same thing and acted the same way. I mean, although I didn't know any of the bands or their songs, I did get a bit excited when I got the chance to take a photo with Moots! from Pop Shuvit and JJ and Ean from the hitz.fm Morning Crew. The pics were very dark though sebab lupa guna flash. Punya sayang kan? The only decent pic is of me and JJ taken earlier during the concert.

Let me just say that JJ is such a nice guy. He was very accomodating to his fans and when I signaled at him to take a pic together he came. He could have just pretended not to see me but he didn't. Nda cukup dengan tu I asked for him to call Ean as well and he did. Sweet kan? Hehehe... Ean was accommodating as well so from those encounters I would say that I am officially a fan of them both. I would have cheered and jumped when they finally came on stage but by then I was already tired so I just grinned from ear to ear. Lol.

There was an embarrassing cum funny incident. Me an a colleague thought that with our VIP tickets we could access to 1st floor balcony overlooking the concert. Mula2 masuk Ice Bar sebab ingat ada tangga dalam sana yang boleh access pigi di balcony tu. Sekali orang dalam bar tu cakap tangga tu di luar. So we walked on and on looking for the stairs when we suddenly realised that there were a lot of the performing band members around us. Kenapa ya?

Rupa2nya we were in the backstage area. Bila sedar tu serious ndatau apa mo buat. Mo lari susah, mo stay macam nda sesuai. Tup, tup a lady asked us if we had backstage passes and when we said no, we were thrown out. Cis, bikin malu. Bukan sengaja pun pegi masuk backstage. Kakak Rela yang jaga the area pun kasi biar kami masuk. Nasib la kami berdua ni bukan hardcore fans of Grayson Chance kan, kalo tidak habis sudah tu kakak Rela kena pecat kalo kami serang Grayson. Lol.

Oh, by the way, you can view the pics I took on my Instagram Phoebe_Sophie and I will come back to this post and put in some pics of Grayson Chance performing. Just wanna put up this post up first because nanti too long overdue since the concert so stay tuned for that okay.

Love,
Phoebe

P/S: I went home that night with aching thighs from standing too long. Is that a sign that I was getting too old to be attending concerts. Huhuhu...

Phy The Mermaid?

Dear readers,

As I have written in my previous post I had just learned how to swim a few weeks ago. I am proud to say that I have made a lot of improvement despite going for a swim only once a week. Here's my progress for the past 3 weeks:

Week 1: Learned how to swim. Was able to swim to the middle of the swimming pool (at the short end of it). I would panic immediately when I lose my rhythm, resulting in me sinking and spluttering water out of my nose and mouth.

Week 2: Accidentally learned how to swim while keeping my head above the surface of the water. Also, as I floated on my back I tried to swim with the same principles of the breast stroke and I moved! From 3/4 length of the pool sampai the shallow end tau.Terkejut sy. Hehehe...  My stamina has improved. I could swim from one end to the other end of the pool with some effort.

I also learned how to flip from an upward floating position into swimming position. It wasn't easy! Entah berapa banyak gelen air sy tersedut dari hidung dan keluar dari mulut sy. Suffered a lot but I persevered and it paid off. In the end dapat juga flip dengan jayanya. Very proud of myself. *Pat on myself on the shoulder*

 Week 3: That's this week. I tried flipping from floating position into swimming position from my left side pula (on the 2nd week I focused on turning on my right side). Dapat buat walaupun clumsily and not so smooth. Then I tried to learn how to go from a swimming position to a floating position on my back. This I feel is very useful because kalo palis2 kaki cramp pun at least masih boleh float.

At first I could do it. Then after swimming as usual bila sy mo buat balik, inda boleh sudah! Here's the thing. When I really want to learn something, I would do it again and again until I get it right. Unfortunately for me time tengah2 sy geram and determined to learn la the clock struck 9.00pm. Nooooooo!!! Terpaksa lah beta akur dengan masa yang mencemburui my love affair with the pool.

I was really having a few bad days at work so on top of my allocated day for swimming (Tuesday), I insisted on going the next day as well. Baju renang yg belum kering bukan halangan. Pakai juga sebab eleh, sama juga basah bila masuk pool nanti kan. Masuk jak pool terus practice from swimming to floating position. It took me an hour but Alhamdulillah, dapat juga. As before I focused on flipping on my right side.

Tiba2 sy terfikir mo try doing the same thing on my left side pula but I was hesitant. What if I couldn't do it? What if the pool closes before I could manage to 'master' that maneuver on my left side? I knew I'd go bonkers with frustration if that happened. In the end I decided to just go for it and you know what? I could do it! Almost effortlessly too! In fact buat jak terus berjaya bukan like on my right side, hampir drown entah berapa kali baru dapat buat.

The cherry on top of that whole experience was that when I turn from a swimming to floating position on my left side, I could almost immediately get into swimming position again by turning on my right side. I hope that makes sense. Kiranya I could do a 360 degree turn la. Wah, I felt like a mermaid oh. Hehehe.. I could also swim from one end to the other end back and forth (on the shorter end, as usual). My stamina has further improved! I am so happy with my progress..

Sorry if this post sounds like I'm boasting. The reason why I wanted to share this story is because I had learned a lot of life lessons by swimming. First of all, you have go to try. At least try. Kalo tidak try mana kita tau apa outcome dia kan? Who knows, what might seem difficult is actually easy and your achievement might be beyond your expectations. Second, practice makes perfect. If you can get through the initial pain and hardship, you will improve with time and the payoff would be worth it. Third, you gotta want it to have it. Want is what fuels one's effort in doing something. If there is no desire for it, there will be no effort to acquire it. I try to apply these lessons to my job now and I feel a bit better, No longer do I dread going to work. At least not that much.

Swimming has become my favorite form of exercise and method of releasing stress. If only I could do it everyday. I wish the community recreational center where I go would fix the changing cubicles with a shower. At least boleh terus mandi, shampoo one's hair, etc. Ini terpaksa basahkan badan dengan shower tepi pool, pigi tukar baju then tunggu sampai rumah baru la boleh mandi betul2. Oh well, my love for swimming overcomes that small minor hiccup.

What about you, have you learned something new that you've fallen in love with? What is your favorite way to exercise or de-stress?

This is all for now dear readers. I hope you'll have a nice weekend. See you soon.


Love,
Phoebe
 
P/S: Oh and this week I bought a pair of goggles and a cap to keep my hair out of my face. Ewah3x... Hihihi...

To Quit Or Not To Quit

Hi all,
I know I promised to write less depressing posts right? I don't know if this can be categorized as depressing but for the past few days I have done a lot of thinking, mainly of whether I should stay or leave my current work place. On one hand, I feel like I am not really giving it a proper chance. On the other sometimes the combination of the work culture, the mindset of staffs, crazy people around me makes me feel really stressed. Everyday when I wake up I would feel like crying. I would get mild anxiety attacks, feeling its hard to breathe, my heart would beat twice as fast. I don't think that is very condusive for me at all.

I feel devastated really. I had such high hopes for this job. With the extra money I had planned on saving up for me and Sophie and also save up for a certificate in makeup artistry. Iya lah, since I have so much makeup, might as well use it to make money. Then the tonnes of makeup will become an investment instead of a waste. These are the only reason why I was willing to send Sophie to my hometown for my parents to take care instead of me. Sekali tengo begini pula jadinya.

On top of all that Sophie is at the stage where she is really needy and since she is frequently around my mum and dad instead of me, when I went to see her last Saturday she was afraid of me initially. Nangis bah tengo sy. I felt a part of me died that day. Sakit hati betul ni, not at her but the situation. I really felt that the sacrifice I am making is not worth it.

I don't know why but when my boss gives an instruction it's hard for me to understand what she is saying. I really don't know what she wants. Others seem to understand her just fine especially her protege but I feel as  if my head is shrouded in a mist. Blurred ni. My friend actually said that perhaps that is my defense mechanism against the hurt of being a scrape goat. Cause that's what I am right now really, a scrape goat. She tell me whats wrong but doesn't direct me to the right direction. Whereas when my friend explained in a short sentence and I immediately understood. Perhaps we are not compatible work-wise.

There is a small bright spot though. A few days ago, after harshly criticising my article (while merely teasing her favorites for their mistakes) and asking me to rewrite it, I felt suffocated. I was so stressed that I couldn't write beyond the first sentence (and that one sentence took me 10 minutes to write). It was up to a point when I had to go out and clear my head. I went along the pool and chatted with some of the staff there who were very nice and I realized that this was what I missed the most about hotel line. The interaction, the small talks, the friends, etc.

Sigh.. I guess this is all for now dear readers. Hope you guys are having a better time at work.

Love,
Phoebe.


   

Mental Torture: Pressure and Baby Sophia

Hi all..
Today is a Monday and for the 100th time I wish that I could just stay at home (a banglo no less) with my princess (a trained, qualified nanny on standby) with big money rolling in every month and maids to keep the house clean. Hey, we can all dream right? I think that's considered the high life for me.

Anyways, work is okay. Tolak office politics and the offensive-defensive tactical mindset, everything is peachy. Yeah right.. Haha.. I feel conflicted dear readers. On one hand I wanted to learn something new, on the other I feel like each day is a torture for me because I am doing something so unfamiliar to me. I try to motivate myself, saying that when I had my first job I didn't know anything either yet I survived right? With each new place I went it's always confusing at first but it gets better with time right? Right.

This morning to be honest I felt like resigning. Pelik juga sy rasa oh. Macam over2 pula kan? Maybe its because everything is new to me and its an assault to my delicate senses. Aisehmen... Al maklum lah, yours truly ni Cancer sign. Likes things yang familiar jak. Anything that throws us off balance we no likey. I really am envious of women who grasp change with both hands and whip up a cake out of it or shape it into a horse. These are fearless women, and how I wish I could be like that.. Oh well..

By the way, I went back to see my baby Sophia last Saturday. Punya lah happy... I really can't believe it when I finally held her in my arms. Smelled her baby smell and kissed her over a hundred times. Huuuiii.. Memang manja la my baby girl that weekend. Malar kena angkat. If it's not me, her papa yang angkat. Masa tu nda peduli sudah whether she will be manja atau tidak. Yang penting, mo lepas rinduuu...

Yang bikin kecik hati sikit tu kan, at first she was afraid of me. Or rather, us. Entah la kenapa, maybe she forgot me. Maybe it was because she just got up from her nap then terus kena serang. Sakit hati tau when she wanted my elder sister instead. I mean, I was never away from her for even a night for over 7 months then in 10 days you can forget me and look at me like a stranger?

I tried to pujuk my own heart juga la. I can't control her and to think I can and expect her to remember me for the things I did for her pretty silly and un-Mama. I take care of her because she is entrusted to me by Allah, not because I own her. Ibu2 sekalian, kalau pernah terlintas di hati dan minda seperti yang di atas, sila2 lah cepat2 buang yer. Nda bagus tu.

Anyways she warmed up to me in a few minutes. I can't help but feel that she has changed a lot. As if during the time we were away from each other, she was re-wired or something. Sebab kan, the things that usually make her smile no longer does. Mo kasi tidur dia pun lain sudah, not the way I know it. Terkilan juga sy, wah how 10 days can make so many changes in a developing baby kan. How much have I missed in 10 short days. Sedih betul oh.

All these things la yang bikin sy berfikir ni, berbaloi kah sy amik ni keja ah? Bagus lagi sy resign and take up a job that is not as demanding despite the pay being less. Macam2 la main dalam otak sy. I tried to calculate how long I would have to work in my current job to be able to save up so that I would not have to work for a year or at least 6 months la. But then again all of this is short term kan? After the money has run out, then what? Apa mo kasi makan si Sophie? Macam mana mo bayar yuran si Sophie pigi play school?

And so the vicious cycle went on and on in my head. In fact, it is still going on right now. Pening kepala sy ni sekarang.. Huhuhu..

This is all for now. I will try to write of less depressing posts in the future.

Love,
Phoebe

  

My First Experience: Swimming

Hallo there..
It's been a while since I wrote a first experience post right? I have certainly not explored anything new for a long, long while. I felt old and ancient but not anymore because I have finally learned how to swim! Yaaaaaaayyyy!!!

No more going into the water up to waist level then pretend to look like I'm merely standing there because I want to and not because I don't know what else to do in the water. No more do I have to be content with just sitting at the edge of the pool dipping my feet in the water while trying not to turn green as those who could swim frolicked in the water like mermaids. Not that I am now a mermaid by far.

I must say the first time I was taught to swim was over a year ago at Poring. Kalo tidak silap la. Either that or a few months ago in the swimming pool at my apartment. Masa tu punya lah epic fail. It didn't help that I panic very easily. Tidak pandai sync my breathing and movements and the movements of my limbs were very uncoordinated. I surprised myself two days ago when I just cuba try test and moved my limbs as I was taught to.

It actually was a passable effort and I felt myself move forward. My friend who could swim gave me feedback on what I could do to improve like to fully 'kuak' my legs, timing when breathing and limb coordination. I followed my friend's instructions and managed to swim from one end to almost the other short end of the pool. I think I could have reached the end if only my hair hadn't covered both my nose and mouth when I rose to the surface, rendering me being unable to breathe. I am so gonna invest in a hair cover and a pair of goggles. Oh yeah!

I wanted to swim all night. Kalo bukan sebab ada guntur and lightning nda la sy mo pulang kali oh. Alhamdulillah, because of this achievement I now feel strong and empowered. If I can do this, I can do anything kind of feeling you know? I just need to get into the 'zone'. Next thing I want to really do is learn how to drive, ride a bike and dive. In that sequence. It feels free to acquire skills, improve one's self. Kalo tidak kan rasa dunia tidak menarik ni. Stuffy and boring. Tersekat pun ada sebab banyak yang diri tidak pandai buat kan.

I really need to remind and push myself to learn new things and skill all the time. You should too dear readers. Let us learn something new to enrich our lives. This is all for now, cheers!

Love,
Phoebe

Weight Loss and Job Update..

Hello there..

As the title indicates, this post is going to be about my weight loss update, or rather, how I'm doing at achieving my weekly goals, etc., and my job update. My health-related goals were to drink up to 2L of water for the 1st week. I must say I kind of failed terribly. I think I just fulfilled that goal 3 days out of the 7 days of the week. If I didn't forget to drink water, I would be in a situation where it would be inconvenient for me to do so (long distance trip so want to avoid to many visits to the loo), etc.

For my 2nd week my goal was to reduce my non-water beverage to 2 cups a day on top of the 1st week goal. I had no trouble doing that and in the process has found my new 'best friend' that would help me with my 3rd week goal and that is to reduce my food consumption by a quarter (I know, funny. Haha..). I have been using this product for a week so I have kind of achieved my goal for this week since last week. That friend is...

Red Guara by DCL

I think some of you might already know this product. This is a drink that is used to reduce one's food intake by helping us to feel full sooner and for a longer time. I know what you guys are thinking. Si phy main buyuk! Guna produk untuk kawal makan. Weh, apa salahnya kan? It's not that I have any disillusion with this product. Like I said before, there is no one magic pill, drink, etc., that enables us to lose weight without diet or exercise because if there is, Oprah would have known about it by now and shared it as her favorite things.

Anyway, I find that this product really works but being an emotional over-eater, I did slip a time or two. Meaning I kept eating despite feeling full. Believe me I got my reward for that alright, with acid reflux or pedih ulu hati (I think) especially if I take a lot of buns or any flour-based or 'yeasty' foods. Its so not fun and not worth the pain. So you see, product like this can help you but you still need will power and make good food choices in order to really lose weight.

I haven't weighed myself yet so I am not sure if I have actually lost weight but I do feel that my clothes fit me slightly better. We'll see in a month.

As for my job, well today is my 3rd day on the job and I am already stressed. I have gone to see the GM for a redrafted programme review, barely learned to use Microsoft Outlook for internal email (and email etiquette on top of it) and Skype. I've written 2 articles, chosen photos for the articles and printed and reprinted what seemed like hundreds of changed programme copies. Its a bit hard for me because this is a detail oriented job whereas I am not a detail-oriented person.

A dot, comma or missing alphabet can result in wastage from reprinting. Sakit jiwa okay. Sayang bah tu kertas. Bila it is all because of me lagi jadi gitu terus tambah2 agi rasa stress. I wouldn't be surprised if one of these days I will get nightmares of alphabets, full stops and commas coming after me with pitchforks. I know, I cant really complain. After all, I did ask for this job right? I did want to break away from Finance right? I do want a bigger pay to improve Sophie's future right? I did want to learn something new right?

Missing Sophie is not helping either. I really need to focus on this job but I keep thinking about her, wondering what she is doing, if she is sleeping or eating well, looking at her photos and videos, etc. On top of all this I just found out that I lost my pendrive with all of my photos in it. I remember using it yesterday and taking it out of the USB Port. I think I did put it in my bag but this morning I couldn't find it. I just hope that it got misplaced in the car or at home and not here at the hotel. While I don't have anything incriminating on it, I certainly don't want it to fall into the hands of irresponsible people. I can't wait to go back home and look for it.

Oh well, I guess this is all for now. Thanks for reading..

Love,

Phoebe.  

P/S: I am in no way or form affiliated with DCL. I bought this product with my own money and my comments on it are fully my own from my experience.

Bye Bye Baby Sophia...

Hi all..
This past 10 days has been such an emotional one for me. This is because something so bad and so sudden has happened that it turned a lot of people's life upside down. I won't say what but suffice to say that it was devastating and some of the 'splatters' landed on me.

Initially, I had planned to wait and see how my work schedule is before deciding for sure about Sophie's care. If I could juggle my work and taking care of Sophie, she would remain with me. If I can't manage, then I would send her to my parent's home. Before I had even had the chance to start my new career, a family crises struck which resulted in Sophie no longer having a baby-sitter. So, I had no choice but to send Sophie prematurely to my home town.

It was the hardest thing for me to accept that I would have to be away from her. I had never, ever done it you know. Never been away from her for even 1 night. How on earth am I supposed to be away from her now? Needless to say I bawled my eyes out for days before going back to my home town last Saturday. I was there with her until today. Hugged her, kissed her, smelled her skin and hair, trying to remember it, remember her smile and laugh, the things that makes her smile.

I tried to look at this situation in a positive light. Tried to cheer up by thinking of all the things that I am free to do when I'm back in KK. I can go shopping now without having a time limit, I can go jalan2 at night now, go jogging/gym without having to worry about where to put Sophie, I can concentrate on my career, watch movies at the cinema back to back, bla bla bla.... Even though I would be having my 'old life' back, all I feel is that it's meaningless, truly meaningless because Sophie IS my life now.

Despite the limitations, lack of sleep and free time Sophie's smile, laugh and wriggly body, seeing her grow has made it all worthwhile. Now that she is not with me I feel as if I no longer am able to function as a I used to before she came into my life. Normally bangun2 terus masak air mo sedia air mandi dia. Nanti bangun terus mo buat apa? Oh ya, mandi and berus gigi sendiri pula kan? You know what I mean? Macam mo recalibrate lagi balik.

I had dreaded today when I would be leaving her. I imagined that I would be flooding the bus station with tears, etc., but instead Sophie fell asleep at home so I just kissed her softly as to not wake her up, went to the bus stop and travelled to KK dry eyed. I felt numb. I do feel a headache coming, the kind that only happens when you repress your emotions. I feel a bit confused now, unable to make simple decisions like what and where to eat.I won't be surprised if I suddenly burst into tears seeing diapers and baby stuff in the shops.

Another thing that disturbs me is that I feel guilty. Guilty for seeming to choose my career over my daughter. Then again, such a good opportunity does not come everyday. If I don't have a good paying job, how on earth am I going to support Sophie anyway? That's what I keep telling myself, what everyone keeps telling me. Not that it made me feel any less guilty.

How am I going to survive tonight without feeling Sophie's soft, warm body snuggling next to me? Sigh...

Love,
Phoebe..

Indulge All The Way..

Hi there,
I was at TCBTL just now and for the 1st time in my life, I ordered a salad, smoked salmon pula tu. Mau healthy la konon. For drinks they had a promo, buy 1 free 1 and they are all only for chocolate based ice blended. Kalo ikut hati mau juga beli, yang 1 lg boleh bg boo. Or not.

Since I am in a bid to be healthier and after this I won't be in KK to enjoy Starbucks, TCBTL, etc., I decided to indulge in an ice blended. When the cashier asked if I wanted whipped cream I said no. Again, its because I wanted to make healthy choices. Then it struck me. I have blogged about this before actually a year or too back.

When it comes to indulgences, which comes once a week or once a month, one should go all out and have it the way one likes it. Yup, add the whipped cream, the extra sprinkle of choc chips. What's important is, make it count. After that, park further away from your office and walk, do an extra half an hour on the threadmill, etc to reduce the 'damage'.

What I am trying to say is, I feel it is better for the body, mind and soul to get the real deal during a session of indulgence rather than compensating by reducing this and that up to the point that what you indulge in doesn't taste how it is supposed to anymore. Defeats the purpose of an indulgence don't you think?

Of course over time we can try to trqin our taste buds to enjoy taste for less. Reduce the sugar, salt, oil, etc., but in general, when it's time to have your fave treat, it's best to really do enjoy it so that you won't feel deprived.

Oh and by the way, that salad I ordered was good it terms of taste but it's rubbish in terms of health. It was laded with mayonaise, croutons and cheese powder. Sigh...

Anyway, would you rather compensate on your indulgences or go all out?

Love,
Phoebe

4KGs!

Hi all...
Yesterday I went to sign my appointment letter. Yes! I am 'quite officially' a staff of TPSH. Yayyyy!!! I was then asked to go for a medical check up at one of the hotel's panel clinic. I was weighed, my height measured, etc. I took a look at my weigh and I have gained 4KGs! What the eff? I knew I gained weight. I could feel it in the way I fit (or rather, don't fit) in my clothes. It has been extra hard for me to find clothes that fit especially work clothes too. I didn't think the weight that I gained would be that much. Sheesh!

On top of that when I went to Ms Read at Suria to look for a pair of pants that might fit, the girl said," Bagus kakak pilih yang longgar2 sikit, kakak kan pregnant". Adoooiiii... I just kept quiet to keep from embarassing us both. Haiyaaaaa... Tiabulih laini begini. Especially since now I am in S&M (not the kinky kind) I need to look good and wear nice clothes. I think you can guess what's coming right? Yeah, I need to lose weight.

Desperation made me want to just buy some pills and take a short cut but I know, if there really was any magic slimming pill out there, Oprah would have gotten her hands on it a long, long time ago and given it as one of her favourite things during Christmas. Since that hasn't happened and is yet to happen, the only way is to do it the old fashioned way. healthy eating and exercise.

If you have been reading this blog for some time you would know that I have enough failed weight loss attempts to last a lifetime. I guess I have not been very disciplined in carrying on what I started which is such a pity. I have to lose weight, I can't go on like this. It's just not healthy. I'm sure I can do it, I just need to follow through and get in the zone.

For those of you who have the ability and discipline to cut off all the bad food and exercise like a machine at the same time and maintain it, I congratulate and envy you. I, on the other hand plan to make one small change a week. Here are my goals for the next 4 weeks.

Week 1: Drink at least 2 litres of water a day.
Week 2: Limit non-water beverages to 2 in a day.
Week 3: Reduce my food portion by a quarter..
Week 4: Reduce non-water beverages to 1 a day.

I will let you know how I do each on each goal each week insyaAllah. I am actually excited in embarking on this project of mine. By the start of November 2012 I hope to have lost 2KGs, insyaAllah. Amin.

Okay peeps, this is all for now. Cheers!

Love,
Phoebe

It WILL Happen In Time...

Hi..
I posted this entry on my makeup blog by mistake and could only transfer this post today in October so if you see reference to this month being September, this is a backdated post actually.. I hope you guys still enjoy it...


Hello all..
In this month of September, especially towards the end, it felt as if I have been bombarded with a lot of news and situations that had me at emotional highs and lows.

Got called for an interview: Happy, nervous.
Got to know relative in financial problem: Sad, wish could help.
Stood up for myself in the workplace: Guilty, happy, determined.
Offered a job at an unexpected level: Ecstatic, disbelief, nervous, petrified.
Found out relative in deeper trouble through own actions: Disappointed, sad, curious, loss, disbelief..

I used to question a bit about why it takes so long for things to happen; why haven't the company contacted me with their offer or rejection, why Sophie is not teething yet, etc. Now as things start to unfold 1 by 1, yet again I started to realize that I should not have been in too much of a hurry, that everything whether good or bad happens as they should.

For example, because my job offer came a bit late yet SH need me for the job asap, I decided to just pay for 1 month's notice to MGH, take 2 weeks off and start at SH on the 15th. I will have the time to get my work attire ready, spend more time with Sophie and let her grandparents dote on her within the inch of her life.

This gives my aunt who cares for Sophie a 2 week break which she needs as her family is facing a crisis right now. My mother who is coming next week to visit Sophie couldn't come at a better time as she could be a listening ear and comforting shoulder to my aunt. At the same time today Sophie is showing signs that she is teething. Since I am on leave and my mother will be here, we will be able to take care of her personally.

See? Allah's hand at determining what happens when is so amazing. So if you are ever in a situation where you are waiting and waiting for something to happen and things seems to be moving slowly, rest assured that if it is good for you, it WILL happen and at the right time too.. Don't be angry with Allah because He always knows best.

This is all for now, cheers!

Love,
Phoebe..

Caught In A Whirlwind...

Hello all..
Aaaalll riiiiggtt... In my previous post I told you guys that I landed an interview at Sutera Harbour but have not heard from them in a while right? I had quite forgotten about it until yesterday. I was at UiTM KK (where I must add, I was 'bounced' from one building to another like a ball trying to find the person that can actually certify true copy my Diploma) when my friend told me that I had 2 missed calls (my phone was in the car). I decided to call back and found out that it was from Sutera Harbour. Terkejut.. Taaaarrriiikk nafas panjang2..

I hung up and called up Miss T from MarCom. Excited pun ada, takut pun ada. This conversation took place between my heart and mind:

Heart: YAAAAaaayyyyy!!!!
Mind: Shhhhhh!!! Diam2 la! Lu excited lebih ni apahal?
Heart: Mesti la excited, manatau dapat tu ker.. *Belum abis cakap*
Mind: Aaaaahhhhh, teda! Jan lebih2. Manatau dia mo bagitau yang ko inda dapat. Neh, neh, neh...
Heart: Ah ko ni geng, negatif betul... *Mulut muncung sedepa duduk diam2 di corner. Merajuk*

So what really happened is that I was referred to Miss F from HR and she informed me that I got the job and was I able to start on the 1st of October 2012? Ter'nganga' sy sekejap tengo handphone sy. Seriously? I told her that I would swing by at Sutera to discuss the matter with her because during the interview Madam M did not inform me anything about the salary, benefits, etc.

I applied for a Level 5 position but was given a level 4 position instead. I couldn't believe my ears. I STILL can't believe it up to this moment actually. Sampai tahap sy fikir,"Entah2 dia silap cakap kali tu kan kemarin?". Part of me felt excited and happy while on the other hand I'm petrified.. I don't know the first thing about what a MarCom Executive actually does. I know Marcom interacts with the media and manages the hotel's online social ones but surely it's more than just updating Twitter and Facebook status.

Miss F told me that 'at my level' I'm in charge of 'all 3 properties' (I guess maybe that means Magellan, Pacific & Marina/Golf). It's overwhelming. Umpama sy ni baru pandai floating dalam bath tub, kira mo belajar berenang dalam swimming pool tapi kena humban dalam laut dalam dan kena suruh berenang. Self-doubts crept into my conciousness, bulih kah sy ni? Silap2 Coordinator sy lagi ada experienced dari sy. I'd look like a fool! Tambahan lagi sy ni pemalu tau tau tau. Directors tanya soalan "How are you?" pun sy bulih stumble over my words. So tell me, how can I not feel doomed?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining. It's just a case of the jitters I guess. As I said before I'm happy and honoured to get this opportunity. I know there must be a reason why I got this job eventhough at each stage it didn't seem like I had a chance. I mean can you blame me? Look at the odds:

I had absolutely no experience in S&M (not of the kinky kind, sorry) let alone in MarCom.
I had no one to recommend me, I just sashayed *okay tipu* suka2 over to the HR department and handed over my resume.
Madam M said herself during the interview that she was hesitant in giving me the job because I am a single mother.

Yet,

I was called for an interview on the day that I had already applied leave for Sophie's appointment.
I was out of the office when I was called about the job offer yesterday so I was able to swing by and to to Miss F about the benefits and what not.
I was inspired to forward one of my blog post to Madam M in my final attempt to get this job. Iya lah, interview sudah hancur, tunjuk hasil kerja jak la.

Dipermudahkan segalanya. Macam meant to be kan? Macam lah.. Now my dilemma is to resign while fulfiling a month's notice or not? Sy rasa bersalah sama my FC if I resign without a month's notice. Then again, SH pun mau sy start kerja ASAP. Pening kepala sy.

Well, I guess this is all for now. Working time! Cheers peeps. Will keep you posted.

Love,
Phoebe

A Rant At Lunch Hour..

Hi peeps..
One of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to work is people calling the office at lunch hour. The sound is so irritating and magnified by the silence, it's all I can do not to cut the wires with a scissor just to shut it up. The calling part I can still take, but the part that really irks me is that when you tell the caller that the person he/she is looking for is not around, they sound surprised, irritated and/or angry.

I'm like, what the *tuuuuttt* man? Where are you from, outer space? Don't you understand the meaning of lunch hour? It the hour when all employers and employees alike get away from the office to rest and eat. If you still can't comprehend that, please Google 'L-U-N-C-H H-O-U-R'. I'm sure they have a trillion definitions that could make your puny brain grasp the concept and meaning.

Sometimes I would not answer the phone especially if it's not my department's line. What for? I walk so far just to tell that the person they are looking for is unavailable? That's just wasted effort. They would know soon enough when nobody answers the phone. Bad employee? Bad Phy? Unethical Phy? So sue me. Go and answer your office phone at lunch if you want. I'll just sit here and do something beneficial with my time thank you very much, such as updating my blog. Wahahahaha... Evil laugh.

If any of my future employers read this, well, the cat is out of the bag. I'm not being lazy, I'm just being practical. If you still want to call it lazy and have doubts employing me, let me just remind you that you will be losing a very smart, capable and efficient, not to mention hardworking, employee just because of the matter above. Sy tengo tempat dan masa juga bah. Kalo office hour sy jawab la. Kalo mood sy charitable sy jawab juga time lunch hour, regardless of whether if it's my department or not. I'm not so bad leh..

Do you have this pet peeve too or do you looovveee to pick up the phone during lunch hour?

Love,
Phoebe

Ramblings Of A Bored Phy...

Hi there..
Sy benci la, bila sy ada idea mo blog, tiada pula masa sy mo type. Maka sudah reka2 ayat fantastic, witty and funny (blearrrgghh..) lg tu in my head. Siap dengan tajuk yang menarik lagi. By the time sya ada masa sudah mo type sy tiatau sudah apa topic sy yang sy mo cerita awal tadi. Mulau betul. Apakan daya, otak sy sudah kena culik alien. Serious cepat lupa sekarang ni. Susah hati sy tau..

As I was saying, sekarang ni sy menaip, sebenarnya sy tiatau apa mo cerita tapi sy mo type juga sebab lama nda update blog. Hm, cerita sikit pasal si Sophia la. (Cue groans and click 'x' button. Lol. What to do la, kawan kamu si Phy ni sudah jadi a besotted parent like any other). Nda bah, sy mo meluah sikit baini pasal betapa cepatnya si Sophie ni tiba2 membesar. Sy rasa macam dia mencapai milestones dia bertubi2 ni. Mula2 sy rasa lambat tau. Especially waktu dia baru mo belajar tiarap. It took her 2 weeks to a month ni to achieve flipping on her tummy. Sempat lagi sy susah hati (hobby seorang ibu), bulih kah si Sophie tiarap ni? Macam payah betul.

Sekali sekarang pula bukan saja dia sudah pandai duduk and merangkak, after only a week of achieving these 2 things, she moves on to trying to stand pula. Adoi, baby don't grow so fast! Dia pandai sudah gigit2, grasp barang, show emotion and preference, etc. She also recognises people. The only thing yang sy rasa ada lambat sikit is tumbuh gigi. When I was a baby my teeth started to pop out at 5 months. Tapi tiapa lah juga sebab sensara bah baby (and parent(s)) bila diorang tumbuh gigi. Demam, diarrhea, lack of appetite, grumpy, etc. Imagine having to go throught that about 28 times (milk teeth 28 batang bah kan? Correct me if I'm wrong. Malas mo Google. Lol..). Pingsan kah tidak?

Okay, apa lagi mo cerita? Pasal kerja la.. Sy boring ohhh (whiny tone) buat keja finance ni. Sy bosan sudah tengo figures, package size, tengo PO, berurusan dengan orang yang babal lagi membabalkan, etc. Bukan mo cakap dalam keja finance jak ada orang babal, keja lain pun ada juga. Sigh.. Sy mo bah try keja lain. Part of me takut juga cause I have only ever worked in finance kan tapi that's is the very reason why I should try something new. So that I won't be rooted to only one field. To be honest belum lagi sy master everything in Finance. Jauh panggang dari api. Tapi sy boring sudah. Betul2 boring. There is something comforting about doing something that you are familiar with but it so.. Entah la.. Bosan la bah..

Sy tengo calendar sy and planning2 sudah bila sy mo cuti apa suma, does that mean that I am unconciously prepared to stay here at MGH for a while yet? Maybe la kan. I do have an idea though. Why not try to apply at travel agencies? I can still be in the tourism industry but with a different twist kan? Pick a big International travel agency, learn a new language and go to the country of the language I learnt. Korea maybe? Not impossible, aye?

Ada 4 hari lagi mo tunggu sebelum gaji. Sigh. Kenapa lah sy keja sama company dari China? Orang lain gaji kamarin lagi. Jeles tau tau tau tau... Sejak kebelakangan ni sy teringat2 juga masa sy keja Kerajaan dulu. Sy paling rindu di Puterajaya. Keja okay, gaji okay, colleagues okay, rumah and housemate pun okay. Just nice I think. Walaupun tinggal di Puterajaya kadang2 macam tinggal dalam fishbowl, tapi a least Alamanda ada. Bulih juga tengo wayang. Am I regretting my decision to leave the Government? Yes and no. I miss the things I said above but I don't miss the work nor the culture. I still think I didn't learn as much things or as fast as I am doing now in the private sector. Apa boleh buat, we can't have our cake and eat it to can we?

 Bah, okay lah. My lunch hour is nearly over. Need to get back to work (urgh!). Have a nice day. Cheers!


Love,
Phoebe

September Updates..

Hello hello..
How are you? Again long time no see.. Since I am sure by now you are done with my apologies and such, let me just cut to the chase on my updates.

First, I got a job interview at the Pacific Sutera Hotel for the position of MarCom Coordinator. Went into the hotel lobby and waited for the director to meet me when I looked down and saw that I had on my Ah Soh's comfy shoes instead of the pointy-toed, stylish kitten heeled I planned on wearing. Good thing she took her time coming, I managed to call boo and make the switch (the shoes were in his car). I am sure the doorman laughed at me but had the decency not to show it.

Did I get the job? Doubt it. The director expressed her hesitancy to giving me the position since it was time consuming, fast-paced, etc. and since I had a 6 moth old baby and am a single mom, she didn't think that it was the job for me. She did say that she would keep my resume and recommend me if there were any other vacancies on the property in the future. Right. Went to the car, cried and was depressed for a few days but got over it. Have yet to apply elsewhere but will do in due time.

Secondly, I am planning to finally take up a makeup course. Since I have an unhealthy obsession for cosmetics, I might as well acquire the skill needed to use them and make moolah. I have been cutting back because I'm short on dough and Sophie has now started to eat. Ah, but buying cosmetics is just so thrilling. I miss it. I have a feeling that If I buy something now, it would be like water bursting through a dam. Buy! buy! buy!. I come, I see, I buy. The Marilyn Monroe collection from MAC is coming out soon. If Malaysia carries it I am so gonna die. But the collection that I am really looking forward to is the Archie's Girls  Collection.

Some Sophie updates. My wee little minikin can now sit on her own and crawl. When once upon a time a fortress of pillows can keep her safe, she now just climbs over them. She has mood swings now, smiling and happy for a few hours then being quiet and grumpy the next. I think (and hope) that this is due to her teething. She can also grip things better now, picking things up instead of just grabbing at things being given to her. I bought her a set of rubber duckies to distract her since she loves to grab at her washcloth during her bath time. She has begun to show preference in her meals and toys now. Ah, mama's baby is growing up so fast.. Will definitely miss her toothless grin..

 This is all for now folks. Cheers!

Hello peeps..
Again, it has been a while since my last post. I sincerely apologise for my long hiatus. Most of the time I would have an idea or a exciting story to tell, but would not have the energy or time to create a post. There were also times when I would have no idea on what to write about but have the time. Sigh! I'm here now though and my do I have so much to tell that I hardly know where to begin! Brace yourself for a long post.

Hm, okay so lets start with my favorite subject, Baby Sophia Mikhayla.. Tee hee hee.. Are you green yet with my never ending updates on her? If you are, feel free to skip this paragraph. Last Thursday morning I brought her to Klinik Kesihatan Petagas to get her immunized. It was the last one until she is one year old and was a double whammy with a jab to both her arm and leg. Usually Sophie would cry for literally only five seconds when she gets her jab but this time she started crying before the needle pierced her skin. I guess she knows that someting was up because I held her tightly. Blessed with strong lungs, she cried the roof down. What really broke my heart was that she had hardly calmed down before she was given her second shot. She looked at the nurse with such a hurt expression that even the other nurse in the room commented on it. I'm so glad that it would be another six months before she gets immunized again because for the first time I am officialy traumatized.

After Sophia's clinic appointment I went over to one of the 5-star hotels (from henceforth will be referred to as ABC) in KK for an interview. Now before I tell you about how it went, I'd like to tell you about the interesting events that lead up to the interview. You know how it is when you're in school and if you're good at English, EVERYONE says that you should be an English teacher and if you're good at crunching numbers, you should be a Math teacher or work in Accounts, etc? Well, Math and English has always been my strong subjects. I graduated with a Diploma in Business Studies and as becoming an English teacher was out of the question, I started my career in Accounts. From the start I found it to be boring and dry but I stuck with it. After almost three years I finally had to admit that a career in Accounts was not for me. I wanted to switch but I didn't know how or what to take up. I was still determined to deviate lest I get stuck due to fear of change or because future employers would find my experience too limited to entrust me with a job other than Finance.

After being out of work for a while and having Sophie, I didn't have the luxury of waiting for the right job. I needed money and I needed it fast so I just used my experience to get employed. Everyday I feel like a part of me dies a slow and painful death. During my orientation, the HR Trainer told us about all the Departments and what they do. That was the first time I heard about Marketing Communications or MarCom for short and I became excited. Proof-reading? I'm no expert but I have been doing that for my friends since primary school. Promoting the hotel throung social networks? I'm sure it is different than updating my own Facebook status, Tweet or Blog but hey, I can learn. Hosting? When I was in Guest Relations once upon a time, within one month of working I was entrusted to host a family over my more senior colleagues. I can speak well and write well in English and while all this does not make me a star MarCom Coordinator, it's a start. So I became wistful. If only I can get a job in MarCom, wouldn't that be great? *Daydreaming while smilling to self*

Aside from my stint in the Government for two years, I have only ever worked in hotels because I love it so much and I can't imagine working in any other industry. A few years back, ABC was quite infamous for certain problems which I won't disclose. However, starting two months ago at least three people told me that ABC no longer had such problems and that I should apply. Eventhough I didn't immediately called ABC, it was always at the back of my mind, more so when people mentioned it to me one after the other.. One day, I decided to bite the bullet and called up ABC's Human Resources Department (from henceforth will be referred to as HRD). Guess what? They had a vacancy in MarCom! As a Coordinator too! I stood hiding in the corner outside my office looking at my cell phone in shock. Could this be the Law of Attraction that everyone had been talking about? I submitted my cover letter and resume not only by email but also by handing it in to the HR Department personally. I know, it's neurotic but I want the job, period.

I was informed that I should expect a call from the MarCom Department by the following week and so the waiting game began. After two weeks went by I figured that maybe I should consider looking into other places as well. It was a Tuesday and just as I was looking at my profile in Jobstreet my phone rang. It was from them! What made it even more fantastic was that I had applied for leave on Thursday for Sophie's clinic appointmen and Miss T asked," Are you able to come for an interview this Thursday?". Once again my jaw dropped in shock. I felt like Lady Luck was giving me the biggest smile ever. I wanted to scream and dance for joy but as that would bring the wrath of my current boss on my head and not to mention risk me being deemed crazy by Miss T who was still on the phone I merely agreed to the interview with as much dignity as I could muster.

Okay, so back to how the interview went. After calming Sophie down and wiping her tears, I rushed over to ABC. I was to expect Madam M in the lobby where I would be interviewed. During the interview Madam M expressed her concern of how the demands of the job would have on my time with Sophie. It is a lot of hard work and very fast-paced and perhaps this is not the job for you at this point as your daughter needs you she said. When she told me that it involved hosting the media, both International and local, my heart soared. I can do that. I have a lot to learn but I know I could do it. At the same time my heart plummeted at the thought of not having much time for my Sophie. I became a bit out of focus and unable to elaborate on my answers much because the reels in my head were turning at top speed. Should I? Should I not? The end of the interview came and Madam M admitted that she was hesitant to give me the job because of my circumstances. She did say that she would hold on to my resume in case anything fitting came along in other departments.

I numbly walked to my car and as I opened the car door, Sophie sat there in her baby car seat, welcoming me with a sweet smile. All the sign given seemed so clear, the Universe implied to having heard my heart's deepest longing. As a person who believed in Allah and know that nothing happens coincidentally, it was hard to swallow that after being given so many positive sign along the way the job was not going to be mine. Then again I thought, for all I know I was meant to get the job next time when Sophie was bigger or maybe I was meant to do something else. Perhaps I was just meant to meet Madam M. So many maybe's.

Random Update..

Hello there..
How are you guys? For my Muslim readers, how has your Ramadhan been so far? Mine has been wrought with challenges especially with my health. I had a few gastric attacks and have a lot of wind in my tummy which gets worst when I fast. Sigh. I hope your Ramadhan has been better than mine.

I have been pretty busy with work the past week. Covering for my boss who went on leave for 2 days didn't help. New unofficial rules imposed made it even worse. My workplace did give us Muslim staff permission to go back at 4.30PM though so that is definitely a bonus. After work I would go to shopping complexes and browse through Watsons, swatching makeup that I have been lusting over for some time. Hehe..

I noticed that Sophie has started to grip things more now. On the 26th July she started to grab my hair and my is her grip strong! I have to keep untangling her fingers out of my hair. Sometimes she would hold on even tighter, as if my hair was a lifeline. Ouch for her mama.. Huhu.. Yesterday (1st August) she managed to turn 360 degrees! Yay! All this while she has only been able to flip on to her tummy. Now she could lie flat on her back again by turning in the same direction if you know what I mean.

My pay came in two days ago. As usual, I only get to touch my pay for a few seconds when I withdraw it then deposit it into the cash deposit machine next to the ATM to pay off my loans and credit card. Sigh! I guess I shouldn't complain too much.  A lot of people are on the same boat as I am anyway I'm sure... ^^

Well I guess this is all for now dear readers. I'm sorry that I haven't been updating much all this while. I will try my best to make an entry every week, insyaAllah..

Love,
Phoebe

Are You Ready?

Hello all..
The question in the above title is what I have been asking myself for the past week. Why? Because Ramadhan is just around the bend. Tomorrow, actually. I am a bit concerned in facing this Holy Month.

For one thing, this is the first time I will be fasting as a mama. Before this, I can just wake up at the last possible second and gulp down an oat drink. Aaaaahhh... Done. Go back to sleep. Now with Sophie changing her sleeping and feeding habits, it is a bit more challenging. On one hand, Sophie can be my alarm as she wakes up at about 4am to be fed and play flip over on her belly.

On the other hand being aware of the time while fighting off sleepiness and feeding Sophie/keeping an eye on her because I'm scared of leaving her alone while she is on her belly is quite a challenge. Then there is facing the day with lack of sleep and food. I am worried that I won't be able to concentrate on my work.

I hope I don't sound like I am complaining. I love being a mama, more so with such a happy baby as Sophie. Just expressing my concern whether I will be able to overcome these challenges or not during this Ramadhan. I guess this is my Jihad. Afterall, Prophet Muhammad PBUH had even gone to war (to protect his people and land) during the month of Ramadhan. Rilek jak pun kan..

I want to take this opportunity to wish all my Muslim readers Happy Ramadhan. May we be able to gain as much Pahala (good graces) as we can during this fasting month. Amin...

posted from Bloggeroid

Milestone!

Hello there,
Great news, Sophie has finally learned how to flip onto her belly. Eversince she flipped by fluke 2 weeks ago, she had been trying and trying to do it again. Now that she could, that's the only thing that she wants to do it seems. Hehe..

If last time she would be sleeping within minutes of arriving home after we picked her up from work, now she doesn't want to sleep! Put her on her back and she would flop onto her belly. She still haven't gotten the hang of flipping over to her back so once she's on her belly, she's kinda stuck. Guess who cries when she's tired? Poor baby Sophie.. But she is learning to so am going to keep rooting for her.

Here are some pics of her in action..



Just a liiitttlllee bit more...



And she makes it!



"I was born to do this. Piece of cake"- Sophia Mikhayla.

Am so proud of her. Seeing her struggling yet never giving up is such an inspiration. Sigh! My baby girl is growing up so fast.. Alhamdulillah, am so grateful that things are going well so far and many more to come, insyaAllah.. Amin.

This is all for now peeps. Happy Thursday. Cheers!

Love,
Phoebe..

posted from Bloggeroid

So Many Things To Say, So Little Time

Hello, hello..
OMG, I have wanted to sit down and open my lappy to blog for the longest time but my laundry (both dirty & clean), dishes and princess always got the best of me. I had also been sick with a nasty cold and cough for the past 3 weeks and after taking Piriton for my cold, I almost always become twit-eyed with sleepiness in 10 minutes flat.

Anyways, the first thing I wanted to talk about was an incident that happened 2 weeks ago. I was doing my laundry when I heard a girl crying. She was wailing and screaming. From what I could gather (not that I was eavesdropping because I was being a busybody, I was deeply concerned) she was arguing with her boyfriend and he hit her. She screamed for him to get out but it seemed like he shouted back, grabbed her and brought her into one of the rooms. Boy was I scared for her.

I felt really at a lost at what to do. Do I intervene? If I do, how do I go about it? What if it will backfire on me and my princess? On the other hand a girl was being abused here in the hands of an irresponsible and cowardly male. I felt that I couldn't possibly let it be without doing something. In the end, all I could do was say a little prayer for her safety and that she may get the strength to leave that poor excuse of a male person (I won't even categorize him as a human being). I also prayed that I, my friends and family as well as all women in the world would be spared from being in an abusive relatoinship. I felt so disturbed for days. Even up till now, the girl kept crossing my mind. I wonder how she is. I hope she is no longer with that guy.

Next thing is that on the 2nd of July 2012, my workplace organized a blood donation drive. I wanted so badly to donate and had looked forward to that date since it was announced 2 weeks prior to the event. Unfortunately I wasn't allowed to donate as Sophie isn't a year old yet. Oh well.. Huhu..

One thing that I noticed though, there are still a lot of people here that do not have the inclination to donate. The majoruty gave the excuse that they don't have enough blood. Cukup2 saja kunu untuk diri sendiri. I wonder how they would feel if one day, God forbid, they would badly need a blood transfusion but they couldn't get it because people give lame excuses. Sorry, I know blood donation is voluntary and no one should be forced to do it but to see strong men cringe at needles kind of sets me off. Apa la guna jadi lelaki kalo jarum pun takut? Bikin malu jak.

Unless you're pregnant, having your period, are sick/diseased and or taking medication, under-weight, had surgery less than 6 months or had a baby less than a year, have low or high blood pressure, etc., you are eligible to donate blood. It's especially good for guys to donate because they don't lose blood like we women folk do every month so donating gives a man's blood the opportunity to 'renew' itself.

Oh well..

I am off to Perdana Park now. Nope, not to go jogging but just to break out of a rut.

posted from Bloggeroid

40 Minutes To 26...

Hi there,
As I am typing this while barely being able to see into the tiny screen of my (borrowed) Blackberry, I am trying to find the words to express how I feel about turning a year older. Last year I did a similar post but it wasn`t published (which was soooo ironic since it was the year my age turned into my fave number and it was the best birthday ever!).

I remember feeling that I was entering my prime age. I felt powerful, like I was about to conquer the world! The prevoius year to that I did a post as well about how I felt about entering my 24th year (unwillingly). So here it is, how do I feel about turning 26? Well, on one hand I feel like I am really old. I feel like it is now time to really be serious, a time to start thinking about being investments, to buy or not to buy a house, etc.

At the same time however, it kind of feels unimportant as well. As if I had much more important things to do than watch the clock strike midnight to make me officially a year older. I hope that makes sense. Anyway, age aside I hope that my 26th year will be a good one. InsyaAllah, Amin.

This is all for now. Enjoy your weekend everyone!

P/S: I am currently sick with a runny nose (I haven`t been able to smell anything for the past 3 days) and a nasty cough. Not a very auspicious begining but I`m optimistic. Hehe.. Oh, and I apologise in advace for any horrendous typos that I might have made.

Love,
Phoebe